The Side of Motherhood That We Don’t Post on Instagram

pregnant

Motherhood is not always joyous. I am not writing this for validation. And the trolls, please, this is my blog. Click the X and leave if you have an issue.

Social media is a highlights reel of life, and there are other sides to me, to all of us.

Parenting, is not always fun. It’s tiring, exhausting, and sometimes I want to do other stuff. But I am home and I do my part for my family.

Being a parent is a huge responsibility. And I decided to take on this responsibility.

  1. I accept that it is not fun all the time. By accepting when I am just tired, overwhelmed and didn’t feel like cooking or doing something, I can just feel and deal with the emotion.
  2. I have an outstanding partner in my husband. He allows me the space to disconnect from time to time and be alone.
  3. I am an introvert by nature. I need to be alone. Like really alone. And just read, or write to reframe myself. Even if it’s just 30 minutes in the middle of a day on a Sunday or whenever.

Caitlyn 1 week old
Maybe I am just not a touchy feely person, but some of the things never resonated with me.

  1. Birth was not a magical experience. I was lucky in both cases as I had short deliveries. But they were painful. I wanted pain medication so badly, so badly, but the anaesthetist could not come in time. Up until today, when I sneeze, I need to be careful that I don’t wee (moms who gave birth know what I mean). TMI!
  2. Pregnancy was never magical. The first one was okayish, the second was horrible. I was tired all the time, at times I could not eat, drink or sleep. Barely coping. I had morning sickness up until I was around six months pregnant.
  3. I could not cope with waking up multiple times at night after my kids were born. Both my children were sleep coached by 12 weeks.
  4. Breastfeeding was never beautiful for me. It was painful and disappointing. I spent thousands on trying to get this right. I had a personal breast feeding consultant, feeding bras; then I moved to pumping exclusively. I rented a hospital grade pump; I bought the hands-free kit, more bras. It is clearly a huge industry; there are a lot things that goes along with pumping.
The 'magic' may not always be there. It is okay to have your unique motherhood experience. Click To Tweet

So why am I even saying all of this?

Because I believe that each motherhood experience is unique, and you should be allowed to feel what you need to without fear of judgment.

I cannot define my whole being by my motherhood. I need to be other things. In that sense I am glad I chose the husband that I have, because he partners with me in our family life.

Each motherhood experience is unique and you should be allowed the space without fear of judgement Click To Tweet

Is motherhood fulfilling?

For me, yes.

To be honest, sometimes it’s also not fulfilling. Sometimes it’s draining.

I have two beautiful, smart and feisty daughters. And I have the pleasure of raising them together with my husband. That is a gift and I will risk my own life for my girls. Just because I admit that its not sunshine and roses all the time does not mean I do not love them. I do love them and I am proud to be their mother. When I see them making each other laugh, or Caitlyn bringing Ava a top when she is cold –  my heart melts.

Overall, I feel that we need to play open cards on the realities of parenthood. It’s not all sunshine and roses and ‘Instagrammable’.

But I am calling it, motherhood has two sides. The beautiful part that we put on Instagram, and the other part that we need to also admit that we feel and share.

Related Reading:

When I Came Home With Baby Number 2

6 Tips for Surviving Morning Sickness At Work

Bye Bye Mommy Guilt, Why You Should Feel Proud of Being a Working Mother

Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law And What Moms Have To Say

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Mommy, wife and a career loving parent. This blog is for moms who also like working.

19 thoughts on “The Side of Motherhood That We Don’t Post on Instagram

  1. I love this. Its so important to recognise the stressful and draining part of motherhood as it helps us to appreciate the fullfillment side even more.

  2. I could have written each of these. I’m an introvert too and I was always nervous of the idea of being surrounded constantly but also thought pregnancy and Motherhood would be a fairytale. That dream was dashed the first time I ended up in the ER for HG in my first pregnancy. Then dashed again as she had to be vacuumed out. And, again when I failed at breastfeeding after two miserable painful weeks (it sounds so trivial to admit I only tried two with my first!! But those were 2 absolutely impossible ones on top of a difficult delivery it was just all too much). But, it’s also beautiful and rewarding and amazing and hard.

    1. Thank you for reading and for sharing your story. Definitely with a difficult delivery I can only imagine how hard the breast feeding post that would have been. I also had HG (not extreme I think) although I did need to be admitted and go on medication, and any mother that got to through that, its a HERO!!!

  3. I love being a mom. It’s the most important thing I will ever do, but sometimes it’s exhausting. Being an introverted person with multiple children is definitely a challenge at times. Sometimes I stay up late just to have a few min to myself.

    1. Staying up late to get some alone time, I do that too when I am not plonking down with my eldest and going to sleep early:) . Thank you for commenting!

  4. I love this post! Thank you so much! Yes, we always talk about how beautiful motherhood is, and post about the happy times, but it is not always that way. I love how real and raw this post is. You’re doing a good job mama. There’s no way to really prepare for motherhood.

  5. We are blogging twinsies! I just started sharing the exact same feelings over on my blog! So happy to have found you! I’m still fairly new to this but maybe we could collaborate or do a round up of bloggers like us? Like mini – interviews? What do you think?

    1. Just checking your post on this topic as well! I believe that we need to be open with how we feel, so we can deal and move forward.

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