20 Things I Want To Tell My Twenty-Something Self

I have been reflecting on what I have learned so far in my thirties ( I am thirty-two years old). One of the most important things I have discovered is the importance of energy. What I spend my energy on: is it the right things for my family and me? And constantly evaluating what drains and gives me energy. That is probably a whole blog post on its own.

I have also started thinking about the last decade of my life, my twenties!

Previously I wrote about tips that can boost your careers in your twenties. Here are 20 things I want to tell my twenty-something self with regards to health, life and career.

[bctt tweet=”I have reflected on my twenties and here is what I would tell my twenty-something self.” username=”cherralle_”]

 

Here Are 20 Things I Want To Tell My twenty-something Self

twentysomething_mydailycake

 

 

1. Embrace your body

You are a size 6 (or a size 30) that will never happen again. Stay healthy and embrace your body.

2. You have fantastic skin now, look after it

Start some form of skin care regime now! Your reign of ‘Break out free skin’ comes to an end after you birth your first child.

3. Travel

Travel more; it becomes challenging when kids are in the picture.

4. Save

Make it a habit to learn and apply good, solid financial practices.

[bctt tweet=”Here are 4 out of 20 tips my twenty year old self: Look after your body; take care of your skin; travel and save..” username=”cherralle”]

5. Take a career risk

Trust me; it is okay. Just because you studied on thing does not mean you cannot explore other paths. A career is not a one-track road; it is a jungle gym.

6. Speak up and own your voice

All those times you kept silent, you had something to say. Always respect others, and speak your mind.

Related Post: The Side of Motherhood That We Don’t Post On Instagram

7. Physical Health

Maintain your fitness levels, build healthy eating habits into your lifestyle.

twentysomething_mydailycake_cherralle

8. Continue learning

Don’t be afraid to pick up a new course or anything you find interesting. Having a completed qualification does not mean you have to stop (unless you want to).

9. Don’t Overwork

Work will always be there. Your health, fitness, and relationships are important too.

10. Travel

A repeat because I cannot stress this enough.

 

11. Network

Say yes to networking opportunities even if you do not feel like it. You never know who you might come across.

12. When inspiration strikes, take notice

Pay attention to your body, mind, and soul. When you find something that brings you energy, excitement, and joy…pay attention. It is your own being (or the universe, or some higher being) telling you what you are passionate about. Listen and pay attention.

13. Cut out things and people that don’t serve you

Pay attention to things and people that drain you and remove it from your life.

14. Life is not a destination, but a journey

Enjoy and be present within each phase of your life.

15. Stop worrying about what others think

Actually, no one is thinking about you. People are too busy and involved in their own lives. Do you, and move swiftly along.

twentysomething_mydailycake_mom blog sa

16. Hangovers will be painful in your thirties

Hangovers are just not the same in your thirties. So, if you must go drinking, enjoy your young self. You can bounce back from pretty much anything at this age. In your thirties, not so much.

17. Do something with your hair, for goodness sake!

It took me to get to thirty-one years of age to finally colour my hair.

I know you want to.

So go ahead and experiment.

18. It won’t kill you to slap on some lipstick

Have fun with lipstick and makeup.

19. Always be you

Although, you are a bit strange. The people who matter will still want to hang around you.

20. Oh, and go ahead and marry that guy you are dating. He is a keeper.

And I did!

CHIME IN: What are your key take aways from your twenties?

Are Antenatal Classes Worth It? Real Moms and Experts Weigh In

Antenatal classes empower parents to navigate the pregnancy journey, birth and beyond. The classes cover pregnancy, childbirth and certain child care elements (like how to bath a baby).  However, are antenatal classes  worth it?

February’s Pregnancy Education Month campaign highlights how childbirth education empowers parents for a better birth experience.

My husband I attended antenatal classes at our local hospital.

We learned:

  • Different ways of giving birth and pro’s and cons of each (natural, C- Section, etc.)
  • Pain Management during the labour process
  • How the clamping of the cord (which my dear husband was ecstatic about)
  • Breastfeeding tips
  • How to bathe a baby
  • Things that will happen immediately after the baby is born, such as:
    • Assessment of baby’s vital signs after birth. And my husband was tasked to not lose sight of our two little girls during this time (paranoid first-time parent).
    • Skin to skin if no issues are at hand
    • Breastfeeding etc.

 

Here are perspectives from mothers and experts on the question of antenatal classes.

[bctt tweet=”Attending antenatal classes gave us solid information from experts and trained professionals #PregnancyEducationMonth #EmpoweringBirth ” username=”cherralle_”]

Are Antenatal Classes Worth It? What Real Moms Have to Say

are antenatal classes worth it

Shanne, mom of two.

How did pregnancy education classes empower you for your birth experience?

My husband and I attended antenatal classes when I was pregnant with our first child. We were provided with information on the different birth options (natural vs. c-section). As well as all the options for pain management such as epidural, hypnobirthing, etc. It was good to be provided with objective information on both options so that an informed decision could be reached. It was also useful to be equipped with practical examples of what to expect during birth and after that (the 4th trimester). We also learned about how to handle your newborn baby safely.

 What is one thing you remember from your education class?

I was surprised by how scary a c-section looked on video. Which reaffirmed my decision to have a natural birth (which I did x 2). I also remember the Sister soaking a nappy in water and being surprised by how much water it could hold.
[bctt tweet=”Antenatal Classes play a key role in understanding different birth options and how to prepare, for mom and dad. #PregnancyEducationMonth #EmpoweringBirth ” username=”cherralle_”]

Cherralle, mom of two (this is me!)

How did antenatal classes empower you for your birth experience?

We attended antenatal classes when I was pregnant with our first child. The classes shed light on the various pain management techniques that are available from breathing techniques to medication. Pain management was a big issue for me as I did not believe I had any pain threshold (little did I know!).

We could also practice how to bathe a newborn (with a life like ‘baby doll’). It is astonishing how tiny babies are when you hold them. My husband loved these classes as well as gave him a sense of involvement and he is proud of his role as an equal parent.

You can also read here, how all hell broke lose when we came home with our second!

What is one thing you remember from your antenatal class?

I remember the breathing technique they taught us in class. I remember practicing it and using it during my labours (in between crushing my husband’s hand).  The breathing technique came in handy for my husband. It came in handy for me as well, as I could not get epidurals for both my births. And I realized I had a very high pain threshold after all.

Sarah, Mom of One.

How did antenatal classes empower you for your birth experience?

We attended antenatal classes, and I would highly recommend it to any mom who has the means. It taught me the different options I have for giving birth. I wanted to give natural birth, but the classes educated me on a c section as well. I ended up having a C-section unexpectedly, and so I knew what to expect!

 
What is one thing you remember from your antenatal class?

I remember the video they showed us of a woman giving birth, and it looked so scary!

Are Antenatal Classes Worth it? What Experts Have to Say

‘There is a link between a lack of knowledge, fear and the experience of childbirth,’ says Lynne Bluff. Lynne is the national co-ordinator for the Childbirth Educators’ Professional Forum (CBEPF), which is partnering with Bio-Oil and hospitals nationally for the ‘Empowering Birth’ Pregnancy Education Month campaign.

Good childbirth classes, says Bluff, will equip parents with the pros and cons of all the available childbirth options. As well as practical tips and techniques for the birth and afterward. Childbirth educators are usually nurses and midwives and parents who can share both professional expertise and personal experience. Classes are on offer at many hospitals, clinics, and private practices.

Pregnancy Education Month

Over 300 private hospitals and clinics around South Africa are running Pregnancy Education Month activities in February. For details, or to find a childbirth educator in your area, visit www.PregnancyEducation.co.za.

Share this post to add your voice to the Pregnancy Education Week Campaign!

Disclaimer: Content developed in collaboration with Childbirth Educators’ Professional Forum. Opinions expressed here are my own.

How A Life Changing Surgery Inspired This Working Mother – Interview with Nonka

Welcome to the second installment of our Working Mother Interview Series, if you missed the first one, you can find ithere.

I met Nonka three years ago when we landed up in the same syndicate group for our Post Grad Diploma in Management (with Gibs). By the way we knocked it out the park as we awarded best group (just saying!).

Nonka is a reserved yet smart woman. What struck me about Nonka is that she is absolutely stunning, but so humble. You would never guess her life story.

Nonka currently works in medical devices as a Neurosurgery and Maxillo Facial Products Consultant. A life changing surgery that took place later in her life it inspired her to want to give back to others.

Here is Nonka’s story. Oh, and in pink, that is me, as always chiming in.

Tell us about yourself, your family and what you do.

mother and daughter _ working mother interview

I am Nonkanyiso Mchunu, originally from KZN, Estcourt from the village called Sobabili in Ntabamhlophe. I currently live in East Rand, Fairleads in Benoni.

I have two brothers, six sisters, and one late sister. I’m the firstborn. My dad passed away when he was 45 years old. As a first born, I had to step in to assist my mum.

I have one, eight-year-old daughter name Imana  Zibusiso.

One of my sisters passed away in 2006 a month after I moved to Jhb. During my pregnancy, I dreamed of my sister asking me ‘what is the baby’s name’? I said her name is Zibusiso, I then woke up and wrote it down, when I checked the time it was 3 am. Zibusiso means Blessings.

Imana Zibusiso

Imana means ‘God provides.’ Thembeka Masukum, one of my best friends, named her Imana. I named her Zibusiso.

Imana is a very fun, loving and caring child. She is also very energetic. She is very health conscious just like me. I sometimes take her to the gym with me.

Reading is one of the activities we do thus I have discovered that she has a talent for creative short story writing (imaginary characters)

We can both model and dance. Sounds like an awesome mother daughter duo.

I work for a medical device company as a Neurosurgery and Maxillo Facial Product Consultant. I support surgeons, nurses and patients who use our products.

Tell us about your career journey and how you landed up where you are now?

Yooh it is a long story – my life testimony.  A moving life story.

I started my career in retail, focused on FMCG, Telecoms and Pharmaceutical.

When you Life’s Mission and Career Collide

When I was a baby I had an illness. I had a leaking mitral valve (important valve that ensures blood flow in the heart). Don’t worry guys, I googled it for us, and I added a link where you can read about a mitral valve is.

Unfortunately, my parents were not aware, although signs were there. When I was in standard eight (grade ten), one half of my body went numb, and I was taken to a traditional healer.

[bctt tweet=”When I was in grade ten, half of my body went numb and I was taken to a traditional healer” username=”cherralle_”]

I stayed there for two months without going to school and only came back to visit my family, I then decided I will not go back there any longer because I was missing school.

I continued my schooling until I finished matric and tertiary. My whole life I was tired and short of breathe and I never understood why.

Once I started working, I had medical aid to do all my health checks. I always felt that there was something wrong.

While working in the Pharmaceutical industry in 2009, I had a mitral valve replacement. This took place a few months after Imana’s birth. My surgery went very well, and my health life was never the same. I felt entirely new and refreshed. I love this ‘ I felt new’.

I used to have chest pains, shortness of breath and tiredness without doing anything. The surgery changed my life.

The above long story, especially my surgery success, inspired me to look for opportunities in the medical industry.

I wanted to contribute to saving people’s lives. In 2011 I joined one of the multinational medical devices company. I can tell you now, that I love every moment of my job.

What is the one THING YOU LOVE Most about your job?

My contribution to saving people’s lives.

Share with us your top two tips that help you to manage your work life integration (balance) that would help other working moms?

Nonka fitness_working mother interview

  • I love exercising, and I make it a must do because it makes me feel energetic and refreshed. Therefore, I function better.
  • Time management: priorities your time. I have a to-do list daily (flagged in categories, e.g., urgent & important, important but not urgent).

[bctt tweet=”I love exercising – I make it a must do because it makes me feel energetic and refreshed. #workingmomtip” username=”cherralle”]

Looking back share with us to pieces of advice you would give yourself as a new mother?

  • Don’t worry too much; no one is perfect, it is going to be fine
  • Always remember that you and daddy are a team
  • It is OK to ask for help

Great tips for new moms and for the more experienced ones. Thank you.

What do you do to kick back? (relax?)

  • I take some time out, take a holiday (with my daughter and alone)
  • I try to pamper myself at least once a month (pedicure, manicure, facial, wax and sometimes body massage.
  • Some time out with friends and family (siblings)

Thank you Nonka for sharing your story! Such a great example of when one’s personal life story and work collide.  It is truly inspiring how you overcame your illness and embraced a healthy lifestyle.

If you would like to share your story or nominate a mom friend, let me know!

Further Reading:

I Started My Own Business To Create My Own Flexibility – Interview With Lushia

The Side Hustle – 6 Things You Need To Get Your Game On

Dads Want To Change Nappies Too – Why We Need Family Restrooms

We are out having lunch somewhere and our toddler needs a nappy change. My husband takes her for a change but comes back quickly.

He can’t. Another changing station that is in the women’s bathroom. Dads want to change nappies too, but we are standing in their way.

When I told my husband I am writing a blog post on this topic, he was into it. “Finally, I have been waiting for you to write about this as it is a big issue for me,” he said. Okay dear, my blog exists to please you! He previously wrote on this blog about his parenting role in our home.

Related Post: Don’t Call My Daughter Shy (or any other kid for that matter)

Why a family room and not a changing station in men’s bathroom?

Establishments that cater to families need to get with the times and get family restrooms. Don’t put a changing station in the women’s or men’s restroom, just add a separate little space.

Why a family restroom though?

  • Dads who have young daughters, need to take them to the toilet and need to accompany them.  These are little girls who are not old enough’ yet to go alone into a public bathroom
  • Moms, who have young sons need to take them to the bathroom. I see a lot of moms take their little boys to the women’s bathroom (this looks okay, moms with sons let me know)
  • Men’s bathrooms have urinals which are open – not hygienic and not appropriate to look at.

[bctt tweet=”Establishments that cater to families need to get with the times and get family restrooms” username=”cherralle_”]

One family restaurant we visited recently has unisex bathrooms + a small separate open area with a changing table. It is perfect, nothing fancy, it is not even a room, but it meets the needs of parents. It has privacy as when you change a nappy you completely block the view.

We have two daughters

Dad and baby _ father changing nappies

When we go out, 95% of the time my husband cannot take our four-year-old to the loo or change the nappy for our one-year-old without it being a mission. As a father, this is an issue for him. For any father this should be an issue.

If you are a father and this is a non-issue for you, then you need to take a good look in the mirror and reflect deeply on this.

Wanting to partake in basic care giving of your children and being prevented from doing this, should be your issue.

[bctt tweet=”If you are a father, and you are not able to change your own baby’s nappy at a mall or restaurant, it is an issue.” username=”cherralle_”]

Ways my husband had to sort out our daughters’ basic needs while out and about

  • Threw a towel over my little girls head and took her into the men’s bathroom to a stall where she could use the toilet (it was urgent). The towel was because he did not want her to see what was happening in there.
  • To change a nappy: waited for men’s bathroom to clear. Then took our toddler into the men’s bathroom. She had to stand on the flat part of the basin while he did a ‘standing nappy change.’ You guys know what a ‘standing nappy change’ is.
  • Use the disabled bathrooms to take our daughter to the toilet
  • Changed nappy in car
  • The last two are not bad options

Should we be okay with this?

Turn a blind eye and just carry on?  Accept that this is ‘just the way things are?’

These were only one father’s experiences.

There are always messages going about how ‘dads should be more involved’.

Well, if we think about it, society subtly (or not) discourages dads from getting involved in raising small children. And some go”oh well.”

Examples are:

  • changing stations in women’s bathrooms
  • Mom and Babes / Mom and Tots Playgroups (I know, I know, dads can go too, but clearly who is the target market?)
  • Three days paternity leave. Although, changes are coming about with the passing of the new ten days paternity leave bill. Plus progressive companies have already increased paternity leave)

Related Post: Dear Working Mother – Here is How To Leave Work On Time

It is encouraging to see family restrooms popping up all over Johannesburg

Places such as Sandton City Mall and Fourways Crossing have family restrooms.

In my view, establishments who cater for families  (especially newer establishments) who keep on placing changing rooms in the women’s bathrooms are not being customer-centric. Look at what families (your customers) need and give it to them.

Let’s give fathers space to play the role they want to (and give moms a break)!

I started my own business to create my own flexibility – Interview with Lushia

Introducing the first interview series on My Daily Cake! Sharing life and career stories of working mothers like us.  In the interview style blog post, when you see italics in pink, this is me chiming in.

I met Lushia a few years ago when we worked together. Lushia is an energetic and spunky young women and when we met I admired her commitment to a healthy lifestyle. After a while we connected again on LinkedIn.

Lushia is a working mom who owns her own business, recruiting firm Luelle Consulting. Here is what Lushia had to say!

Lushia and son working mother interview series1) Tell us about yourself

I am a 35-year-old coloured female who also happens to be a single mom to a beautiful 7-year-old son.

What I do

I currently run my own recruitment agency in Broadacres with a friend and business partner. In Dec 2015, I registered a company while working in corporate. I had been toying with the idea for about two years.

Feeling isolated in this massive multinational, I knew my voice was too small to be heard. And so I made what I thought was the dumbest decision I had ever made in my entire life. I resigned.

I had some cash to carry me for a few months, and so did my business partner. However, we were not 100% convinced we even knew what a rough ride awaited us. On 15 Dec 2017, my company celebrated its 2nd anniversary and 4 employees later. I can honestly say, this was the hardest thing to do but so worth everything.

Related Post: The Side Hustle - 6 Things You Need To Get Your Game On

Our Routine

I currently live in Johannesburg and commute 12 kilometers to work every day. My son goes to a wonderful private school just 1 km from my office. I get to spend so much more quality time with him now.

I love being fit and healthy. So after my prince gets dropped off at school, I get to hit the gym and waltz into the office at between 9 am and 9:30. Wow, I love that you waltz into work! I also love that you have found your own rhythm that works for you.

Since I can have the office transfer calls to me while I am on the go, I also leave early some days to spend more time with my boy.
I returned to work ten weeks after my son was born, and so I was robbed of bonding time and maternity leave. I am now making up for all that lost time.

2) Tell us about your career journey and how you landed up where you are now?

Starting out in retail sales, I always had a passion for serving and helping people. I ended up in recruitment by accident in 2006. I had applied for a corporate sales position and the next thing you know I was hired. It was corporate sales of people. I had no idea I would be selling people.

In my first year of recruitment, I won the best newcomer of the year award. I took to recruitment as they say ‘like a duck takes to water’. After working in recruitment for over 10 years I now own a recruitment agency. Mic Drop.

I was never book smart so even if my parent had the means to send me to university, I doubt I would have managed to complete a degree in anything. Recruitment is sales. I am good with people, and I am great at selling them. Great example of building upon your strengths, (which are people and sales).

I opted to start my own business because I wanted to be more flexible in my own life. Also, I wanted the flexibility
to tailor make how I add value to a company.

[bctt tweet=”Starting my own business gave me flexibility to tailor make how I add value to a company – says Lushia” username=”cherralle_”]

3) What is the ONE THING you love most about your job?

There are a few, but I love that I know a little bit about almost every career without having to read books or study. I learn through interviewing people. I ask questions and gain a thorough understanding of what his/her role entails. Simply interviewing and talking to people is an important way to learn and gather information. 

So I love that I get to learn something new almost every day just by sitting in an interview with someone. Being in the company of people excites me.

[bctt tweet=”‘I was never book smart’ she says – here is how a young woman started her own recruitment company” username=”cherralle_”]

4) Share with us your two top tips that help you to manage your work life integration (balance) that would help other working moms?

I don’t think I have my work life balance down to a perfect T. Being my own boss helps a lot because I get to decide how hard I am willing to work on any given day. My motto is “Health and family first.” 

Once you are in good health and your family is happy, you are in a better space to perform at your optimum level. Eat well, sleep for 8 hours and work out.

Related Post: 10 Things A Working Mother Needs to Survive

5) Looking back share with us to pieces of advice you would give yourself as a new mother?

Nothing is more precious than time with your baby. Bond and keep a journal of all the special moments.

When you are a new mom in a stressful job, you can sometimes put too much focus on your career and not enough time being a mom. Remember that you may not have all the time in the world to spend with your kids but, use the little time that you do have and ensure that it is quality time. Quality beats quantity hands down. Thank you for these awesome pieces of advice. Its true that time flies by so quickly, and they are only this little once. It is important to focus and be present in each stage they are in.

6) What do you do to kick back? (relax?)

I read thrillers and biographies, and get lost in them completely. I also love sleeping, so I catch up on sleep whenever I can. Yes to reading and yes to sleeping!

*****************************************************************************

Thank you Lushia for sharing your story with us!

To connect further with Lushia, you may found her on LinkedIn, which she uses for networking. Lushia actively shares updates on LinkedIn, you may check her out here!

Don’t Call My Daughter Shy (or any other kid for that matter)

My daughter started a new school this week. One day, when I came from work, I asked her casually about her day. She replied ‘Mommy, I am shy.’

My daughter is a child who takes a while to ‘warm up’ to people and situations. That is just how she is.

She does not respond immediately to a greeting nor does she proactively greet new people. I researched this behaviour. Oh, and by research, I mean I GOOGLED THE CRAP out of this topic (as parents do!)

Related Article: 7 Reasons Why We Are Only Having Two Kids

I discovered that little kids are not necessarily shy, sometimes they just need more time to warm up. That is okay.  When I walk into a room, I do not want to talk to everyone immediately either. Even if she is introverted, that is fine, but I don’t want to her to carry the ‘shy’ label at this tender age.

[bctt tweet=”Labels have power. Here is why I do not want my daughter to be referred to as ‘shy’.” username=”cherralle_”]

Don’t Call My Daughter Shy (or any other kid for that matter)

shy kids

The world favours the child who is openly boisterous and talkative. Not the child who needs time to warm up before she shows her personality. My daughter is smart, witty, helpful and has a crazy weird laugh! But she will not show that side to anyone immediately.

Labels have power

The fact that my daughter takes long to ‘warm up’ is okay.  I know her. She is funny, smart, talkative, has developed friendships, and is a feisty one. She actively seeks out social settings where she can play with others.

What is not okay is her adopting a label of ‘I am shy.’

When she told me, she is shy I mentioned she must take her own time. I also told her what I always tell her when I don’t know what to say ‘You are Strong and Smart.’ When I am in these ‘teachable parenting’ moments, I never know what the hell to say, so I always remind her  that she is ‘strong and smart’.

[bctt tweet=”If she must carry any label, let it be that she is strong and smart (which she is). ” username=”cherralle_”]

Related Post: Dear Working Mother: Here is How to Leave Work On Time

Not shy, but thoughtful or slow to warm up

So when we enter new environments, and the moment comes when she doesn’t greet or respond when asked her name, I let it go. I casually say to the other person, ‘she just takes a while to warm up; or ‘she likes to observe her environment first.’ Pressuring her and covering up by saying she is shy, will not help my child.

While we are on the topic, I also do not make her hug or kiss anyone if she does not want to (it is her body). You will get a high-five at best.

I do chat with her alone about greeting and that it is a nice and friendly thing to do, but I do not make a scene about it.  At her previous (play) school, she settled in well although it took a while.

However, now that she is at a new school, she will need a little time to warm up again. You know what, she is four. It’s fine. Calm down.

I stopped telling people she is ‘shy’ two years ago but it still gets used by others. I prefer to say ‘she is thoughtful; she takes a while to warm up; she likes to observe first.’ Which is the truth! I prefer to look at it in the positive.

Related post:  7 Things a Working Mother Wants To Tell her Boss

Give them the right label to live up to

Next time a little kid does not want to greet and anyone says they are shy, don’t leave the ‘shy’ label hanging over their heads. Keep it casual but don’t let it slide if someone says they are shy, say they ‘take some time to warm up’ or something along those lines.

Do not apologise for who they are, it makes them feel small.

The shy label may keep a child from trying new things, or from reaching out to connect with someone. Labels have power!

Here are 10 Reasons Why You Should Not Call your Kids Shy from an article that appeared in the Huffington Post.

‘Mommy,  I am shy.’

I don’t want this to be her internal voice.

That is why I tell her, ‘you are smart, pretty and strong’. That is a better internal voice.

Can you relate to this? Do you have a ‘slow to warm up’ child? Or were you an ‘introverted child’?

The Side Hustle – 6 Things You Need To Get Your Game On

Did you know that the predicted average salary increase for 2018 in South Africa is 5.5%? That is an average people.

Petrol price, school fees and grocery costs increase regularly. The ever-increasing cost of living for a working parent is immense!

You can sit around and wait for the cost of living to catch up with you OR consider providing services in your personal capacity. In steps the side hustle.

[bctt tweet=”“Without hustle, your talent will only get you so far” – Gary Vaynerchuk” username=”cherralle_”]

Joshua Malinga* husband and father, manages a successful side hustle and explains that multiple income streams in a household are imperative.

“In my view, it has become imperative for a household to have at least 2-3 streams of income other than your actual job in order for it to function at its potential. Personally it’s not only about it helping me afford my life but what I love about side hustling is that I gain exposure to more things that I would never have been exposed to in my 9 to 5 job – and in turn, I give people exposure to myself without being undervalued.
[bctt tweet=”What I love about side hustling is that I gain exposure to more things that I would never have been exposed to in my 9 to 5 job”  username=”cherralle_”]
 The motto is always ‘Hustle for your last name, not your first name.’ You start to realise that you can add value (and that you’re building on something) while getting paid to do what you ACTUALLY enjoy/love doing.
 
The challenge always arises when you now have to choose what prioritise (job + hustle + family) and that is where most people actually tell themselves they don’t have time. However the benefits always outweigh the stress.”

Thati from The Disruptors further shares advantages of having multiple income streams.

Here is What You need to get your Side Hustle Game On

side hustle what you need

1. A  Bankable Idea

Your bankable idea is something that you can provide to others and get paid for it.

Example:

  • Are you a goddess in the kitchen? Cook and freeze meals for working parents (I will pay for this!).
  • Have impressive technology or digital marketing skills? Provide website development or social media support as a side hustle.
  • A whiz with numbers? Provide financial services to small business owners.

Entrepreneur Magazine provides 20 ideas you may consider for a side hustle. Anyone can start a side hustleif they have an idea and they can apply themselves to the concept.

2. Focus and Discipline

A side hustle is just that, a ‘side’ hustle (until it grows to a point where it becomes your primary income stream).

You need to be able to kick ass at your day job (hey, you still need that one right).

Then go home, do what you need to and HUSTLE.

Self-organization is paramount, so you can ensure that your day job, side hustle and personal commitments all get the required attention.

Related Post: Ace Your To Do List with These 7 Tips

3. You will need to invest

Starting a side hustle may require start-up capital (not always the case). You may need to buy supplies or build a website, get branding, etc. SME South Africa found that 68% of entrepreneurs fund their investments from their savings to start with

4. Read up on company policy

Usually a company would be okay with your side hustle as long as it does not impact your ability to do your day job, and it is not an operation that is in direct competition with your company. However, get in touch with your HR person or read up! It won’t hurt.

Related Post: How to Say No At Work (and win respect while doing it)

5. Get your papers sorted!

Having multiple streams of income may lead to tax implications. Ensure that you meet the requirements. If it’s a small business and you run it as a sole proprietorship the conditions are very limited, read further here.

6. Passion

Go for something that makes you want to jump into another job when you get home from your day job. Pick something that naturally interests you.

Something where you do not mind giving up social events and leisure activities for.

Anne*, a Johannesburg based working mother, shares her view, “Side Hustles should not be seen as a betrayal to your employer or job. We have different parts to ourselves that can’t only be expressed in our 9-5.  It may be for financial reasons or fulfilling a different need.’

[bctt tweet=”A side hustle is not a betrayal to your day job. It’s a path to express other sides of ourselves that are not met at our jobs” username=”cherralle_”]

In Conclusion

Entrepreneur Magazine outlines an additional three crucial elements you need to start a side hustle.

A side hustle is a good idea if you want to increase financial stability through supplementing your income. Or you dream of owning your own business but need a ‘safe space’ to try it out first.

Follow your passion and make smart money decisions.

*Names changed

Chime in! Do you have side hustle? How do you manage balancing your day job and your side hustle? Are you thinking of starting one?

Dear Working Mother – Here Is How To Leave Work On Time (most days)

In the modern corporate world, there is the mistaken assumption, that  ‘working late equals working harder.’ There is also a bias towards working mothers (parents) who need to leave work at a particular time, while other colleagues are still working.

I refute the belief that staying late equals working harder. Maybe. But I am not convinced. At all.

A better way to assess levels of productivity is by looking at outputs and not by who sticks around until late.

Related Post: Build your own work life balance: plus free work life balance check list

Often we are encouraged to ‘work hard,’ and ‘stretch ourselves’. Yes, that it is important, however, it is essential to set boundaries. Whether it is to get home to your child, go gym or because you have band practice (I am just saying, it could be anything).

This is how to get time back into your day, get things done and leave on time.

Let go of the guilt when you pick up your bag to leave the office!

[bctt tweet=”Dear Working mother – here is how to leave the office on time (by being focused on getting things done)” username=”cherralle_”]

Dear Working Mother – Here Is How To Leave Work On Time

dear working mother how to leave work on time

Plan your day and Focus on the right things

Do you start your day with no idea what your priorities are? Following a haphazard approach to whatever comes your way?  – if yes then there is an opportunity to plan your day.

When you get to work, become laser focused on your main priorities. Use whichever system works for you. I have set up for myself a hybrid between a Bullet Journal and a Planner, I copy this layout (more or less) in my work notebook. You may download the planner template here.

Outline your main focus areas for the week.

Set this up Sunday evening or Monday morning. Then, each morning spend 3 – 5 minutes outlining what will be your top three goals for the day. Yes, only three then tackle at least one before you read emails. The items you do not complete get carried over to the next day and so on.  You should also add other tasks to your list. However, you know what the top 3 are.

Yes, you will have unexpected deliverables that will pop up, but you will always keep coming back to your three primary goals.

And yes, also add your personal tasks. Need to make a school fees payment or book a dentist appointment? Add it on to your to-do list.

Related Post: 7 Reasons Why I am Pretty Certain We Are Only Having Two Kids

Number one productivity killer is meetings

Meetings, meetings, meetings.

Do you sit in a meeting and go ‘why was I invited to this meeting’ or ‘I could be doing actual work right now’ – if yes then there is an opportunity to rework your meeting schedule.

Here is a crazy thought, cancel 50% of your meetings and you will get more done! Okay, easier said than done. Let’s take a more pragmatic approach.

Firstly, accept that a meeting is not ‘work’.
Meetings are discussing and organising work. Here are a few excellent points on how to make a meeting productive.

Reevaluating and cutting the time you spend in meetings will undoubtedly make you more productive and allow you to leave work on time. Politely decline meetings you feel are not relevant to your priorities.

[bctt tweet=”Struggling to leave work on time? Tip: assess your meetings, then ask yourself are they all necessary?” username=”cherralle_”]

Related Post: Ace Your To Do List with These 7 Tips

Use time blocks and get more done

A practice I have implemented for myself is to block out 2 -3 hours in my diary daily for PURE work. No meetings. All meetings get scheduled around this time if need be. I also block out 16h00 – 17h00, so I have no meetings after 16h00 (so I can wrap up at the end of my day). It works 90% of the time, which is progress.

Working over time, leads to decreased productivity

Continually working over time will reduce your productivity. As work hours add up to over 50 per week, productivity slows down. You may lose energy and start working slower. You can read further about this study as summarised in the Economist.

But, don’t take my word for it. Reflect upon your health and pace of work. Do you really feel that you are productive at work when you have been pushing 12 hours days? When you are always under pressure to stay late at work? When you are wrecked with guilt because its another day you miss supper or bath time?

In Closing

Time is a valuable resource. Our jobs need our time and dedication, but so does our friends, family, and personal commitments.

Long hours does not equal doing more. It’s pretty simple: Prioritize, evaluate your time spent in meetings and learn to set boundaries.

Pin this post if you enjoyed it!

 

How to Say No At Work (and win respect while doing it)

Accepting stretch assignments at work is good for your career. They provide you with growth and sponsorship opportunities. Extra work allows you additional space to flex your muscles and show your boss and team what you are capable of.

Those are good aims. However, at a certain point, you must learn how to say no at work.

To excel in your role, you need to  take on extra work that is a healthy challenging stretch (a bit uncomfortable), but you also need to learn to say no if it will cause your performance to deteriorate.

[bctt tweet=”Focus is about saying ‘No’. Steve Jobs Quote” username=”cherralle_”]

What is the right way to say no?

It has to be framed within the right context.

Related Post: 6 Ways to Add Self-Care to Your Work Routine (and get things done)

Context is important

how to say no at work flaylay feminine

It is important to understand the context of the request and the context of your position.  Example, if you are an intern, you pretty much don’t have many ‘No’s’ in your back pocket. However, if you are a seasoned and trusted contributor in your company, and your reasons are valid, you should be able to respectfully push back.

Secondly, approach the ‘no’ in a positive and helpful way, it must be framed correctly.

Provide a thoughtful and logical response, because you do not want to come across as ‘lazy’. If your boss can appreciate your perspective then they will accept you rationale when you say ‘no’.  Later on in this post we outline how to go about this.

[bctt tweet=”There is a right way and a wrong way to say ‘no’ at work. Do it right and win respect.” username=”cherralle_”]

Good Possible Reasons to Say ‘No’ At Work

  • You are working on key projects with no capacity left (even if you put in extra hours it will not suffice)
  • Your current projects will suffer drastically if you split your focus now
  • You are unable to delegate your current work to make space for the new project

Terrible Reasons to Say ‘No’ at Work

  • It is not in your job description (BIG NO NO!!)
  • You have a lot going on in your personal life and cannot deal with this right now

Once you determined that you have a valid reason to say no, this is how to go about it.

Related Post: How to Deal With a Bad Boss

How to Say No At Work (and win respect while doing it)

Clarify your other responsibilities

Share which other projects you are currently working on with imminent deadlines. However, communicate when you will be able to take it on (provide a reasonable next date) and provide it the right level of attention.

This way you are showing that you not just bluntly saying no. You do want the project but just not right now.

Prioritization 

Share with your boss how you have currently prioritised your workload and deliverables. Your boss may request you to prioritise a new deliverable.

If this happens, it’s important to have clarity of expectations. Ensure that you both agree which project becomes the priority. Get it in writing if need be (a ‘to confirm our discussion email’ would suffice).

Related Post: 10 Things A Working Mother Needs to Survive

Offer an alternative and help solve the problem

You want to maintain your reputation of someone who is a star player, and so its important to be genuinely helpful.

Remember, when your boss approaches you to drive a project, you can’t go laying down your problems.

Offer the following solutions:

  • Take up the project at a later date if its workable (as per the above)
  • You can offer to contribute in another way, e.g. take a piece of the project instead of the whole piece
  • You can suggest a colleague who you know is keen to get involved in the specific topic (however be a good colleague and check with them first)
  • Request resources: could be additional time from someone else
  • Alternatively, just push through if you really cannot find a work around (but this should not be a common occurrence)

In Closing

It is important to take a solution oriented approach to saying no at work. Always lead with positivity and remember the main goal is always to deliver strong performance.

Chime in. Do you feel okay saying ‘no’ at work?

Further Reading: 7 Things A Working Mother Wants to Tell Her Boss

 

 

 

How To Deal with a Bad Boss in a Professional Way

Your boss is one person who has an overwhelming influence on your work life.

A 2015 Gallup study found that 50% of people admitted to leaving a job just so that they can get away from their manager.

A stressful work environment can also wreak havoc on your personal life, as work-life stress tends to spills over.

Now, before externalising the situation entirely;  it is essential to keep in mind that a relationship between a manager and employee is a two-way street. You also play a role in the dynamic.

Dealing with a toxic boss requires high EQ, and management of your own emotions. However, it is possible to create a workable situation (in most cases).

Related Post: 7 Things To Look for In A Job Besides Salary

Here are four examples of how to deal with a bad boss and still keep it professional

woman dealing with a bad boss

 

Your boss takes credit for your work

You deliver an excellent, well-researched presentation or project idea to your boss’ desk. Next thing you know, your boss is being singled out by the powers higher up for delivering this well-researched presentation or project.

You do not get so much as a mention.

[bctt tweet=”Good leaders will shine the spotlight on their team when things go well. That’s just what they do.” username=”cherralle_”]

Workaround: 

There might not be anything you can do outright, as it may reflect poorly on you if you raise this haphazardly.

What you can do is keep meticulous notes about your work, including email trails.

Secondly, invest time and energy into expanding your network beyond your boss (with your boss’ blessing and encouragement). Ensure that you are building relationships laterally and with other seniors in the organisation.

Thirdly, always attempt to address the issue with your boss directly. Share that you felt your contribution was disregarded.

Related Post: 13 Tips for your Twenties that Can Boost Your Career

When things go bad, your boss is nowhere in sight

Following on the previous point, the inverse is also true. A horrible boss will make himself very scarce when things go south and may throw a team member under the bus.

They will ensure that someone else is put in the spotlight to take ‘blame’ for a project gone wrong.

A great leader will hold people accountable but will stand with the team.

Leaders understand that it is also their role to manage anxiety levels in the team when things go wrong. Not add to it.

Work around: 

Keeping a track record of your performance and contributions at all times remains a crucial strategy for dealing with a toxic boss.

Over and above this, approach the matter in a very calm way. Reach out to your boss for a meeting and ask  questions in a non-confrontational way.

Approach it in a way where you want to ‘seek to understand’ and learn from the situation.

Assess the extent of the damage. If it is a minor thing, you may overlook it and address it with your boss only. If this situation can seriously railroad your career or reputation, you may need to take it to the higher-ups.

Related Post: 6 Hacks to Transform Your CV in 20 Minutes

Your boss is a micromanager

First things first.

Take a careful look and assess if you have been dropping balls that warrant a more hands on manager.

If not, then a micromanager is a challenge.

A micromanaging boss will impede your productivity (as they want to get involved everywhere and slow you down). Secondly, it starts chipping away at your confidence levels and sense of independence.

Workaround:

Overshare and share some more. Feed the micromanager what she wants: details of your meetings, summary reports and quick pop-ins with status updates. Feed the need for your micromanager to be involved so that you will start noticing they won’t keep getting involved in your work.

You will start sending signals out that you got this and they will start loosening the grip.

Also, pay meticulous attention to how she likes things done, so that you can factor that in when you deliver a piece of work.

Herewith a further article from The Muse detailing how to deal with a micro managing boss.

[bctt tweet=”Invest in building a good relationship with your boss. Once you have done that, then can you evaluate if it is working out.” username=”cherralle_”]

Your boss is always right…

Always must have the last word.

Must sign off everything.

Ensures that all final decisions are theirs.

Can do your job better than you.

Sound familiar?
The sad part about this scenario is that stifled creativity becomes the order of the day. People are just not up for getting their ideas ‘shot down’.

Work around:

A winning strategy in this situation is to make sure that your idea, is also your boss’ idea. Or if it is your idea, link it to something they mentioned. In this way, you are making your boss part of the concept. You will get less resistance, and they will feel part of it.

Now, this is not about sucking up; it’s about finding a creative way to get your outcome, which is getting your idea signed off. The goal must always be delivering strong performance.

In Closing

If the issues with your boss still persist you need to use your internal network to find another role in your company or look for a job externally.

A boss has a significant impact on your work life, and this spills over in your personal life. If you can find ways to work around it and still build a fantastic career that is awesome. However, if you cannot, you need to reflect on whether it is worth it. Remember to always keep it professional when you deal with a bad boss.

If you are in the job market, check out our job search resources, including how to update your CV fast, updating your LinkedIn profile how to prepare for an interview.