Do you think about your life before kids? I don’t as much these days partly because I have forgotten. And I have decided to build in ‘me time’ as part of my lifestyle and so has my husband. Although I complain, he must go do his thing.
A study published in 2017 found what ALL parents already know: like professionals can get burnout, parents can get ‘Parental Burnout.’ I think we all knew that however, it is satisfying to have a scientific article to back that up!
When we have our kids, we fall into the rhythm of ‘being all things to our kids all the time.’
Society, family, friends, ourselves place expectations on new parents. You almost lose yourself when you become a parent.
Even if you don’t put your child first at every single turn, you get subtle cues from the world to ‘get back in your lane.‘
Well, I am here to tell you…’Me Time’ is a THING! A little time away from your children is actually good for you and your family.
RELATED: Dear Working Mother: Here Is How To Leave Work On Time
[bctt tweet=”Yep, ‘Parental Burnout’ is a Thing And Makes The Case For ‘Me Time'” username=”cherralle_”]
‘Stay in your lane’ Moms and Dads
Here is an example of how we are subtly encouraged to stay in our lane.
I returned from maternity leave, ready for action. My manager was allocating assignments, some of which involved an overnight stay in our coastal regions. All the mothers would not need to take any of the ‘out the town’ assignments out of ‘respect for their new family situation.’
I was safely placed in the ‘new mom who cannot travel’ category. I appreciated the gesture, but…
Hold up, we need that night away from home
I need that night away from home. Parents MORE than anyone need that night away from home.
I mean, to have one day off where you do not need to do bath and bedtime. To wake up not needing to take care of another human being the second you open your eyes. Sounded good to me!
Lesson?Never make decisions on behalf of parents because you ‘assume’ it is what they need.
What exactly is ‘Me Time’
To avoid parental burnout (yes repeat after me, parents can burn out just from parenting) you need to carve out “me time” on a regular basis. ‘Me time’ means different things to different people.
It can mean getting a massage and a manicure. It can mean vegging out on the couch on Sunday afternoon watching your favourite series, or reading. As long as you are not ‘parenting’.
Are we trying ‘too hard’ at parenting?
As a parent, you often need to be everything to everyone. Ensure that your little one’s every need is taken care of. But do we need to? Understandably when they are tiny our whole lives revolve around their needs. But we take it too far.
Is it necessary that they go to every single party each weekend? Let’s face it, is not ALWAYS fun for the parents. And let’s be honest, they will survive missing a few parties. Maybe it’s a way to curb the development of FOMO when they are older.
[bctt tweet=”Relax a little on the weekend. Have unscheduled weekends. It is okay to miss a few birthday parties. Perhaps it will be a cure for FOMO later in life!” username=”cherralle_”]
Do they really need to do five extra murals? Do they? My little girls are one and four years old, so I have not experienced the ‘busyness’ of extramurals yet. So I may be speaking out of turn!
Are we putting too much pressure on ourselves?
As moms, dads, people, we are all different, and we have different strengths. I am not the Pinterest baking mom. I am not the creative mom. I am certainly not going to create work for myself by pretending to be someone I am not.
I am who I am.
[bctt tweet=”Juggling all the balls can be exhausting. But then we add out balls that do not need to be there.” username=”cherralle_”]
My Upbringing – Did our mom’s have ‘mom guilt?’
I think about my upbringing. My mother worked the whole week, and she was generally home by latest 17h00 from Monday to Friday. However, I never felt neglected or abandoned. I am also not sure if my mother had ‘mommy guilt.’
Did ‘mommy guilt’ even exist back then?
She sure looked mighty cheerful as she even waved goodbye to us on a Saturday if she had a church event with her church folk. We were more than fine.
You see, I think our mothers had more ‘Me Time’ and less Mommy Guilt!
Your Family will benefit from you being energized
By taking time out for yourself, you press ‘restart’ on yourself. You will be refreshed to re-engage your family.
So do not feel bad the next time you want to ‘do you.’
Just whip out the ‘Parental Burnout Research’ summary that I shared with you. You are welcome!
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Interesting article. I spend little time on me-time. I would think that Husband going to the store with Princess while I do my blog posts, was enough me time. But your “night away” option sounds like a dream. Who says we should only do an hour of me time? Thanks for the food for thought.
An hour or two of me time sounds good to me ! That is what I do take most of the times. Thank you for commenting.
As a SAHM “me time” is very important to me. And also “couple time”. I thoroughly enjoy catching up on series, doing my nails or just doing nothing. A regular coffee date with hubby (while the kids are with grandma) does wonders for the soul. I believe we will only be better moms/dads/husbands/wives/ friends etc if we take care of ourselves too.
I agree. Whether we work outside of the home, or stay at home. Those dates are also very important- I feel that couple time slips down the priorities but it’s so so IMPORTANT! Thank you for commenting
Great article and finally someone researched it, so it’s scientifically correct 😉
Parental burnout definitely exists in my world. The busyness of life can be very overwhelming at the best of times. I need a time out soon… or maybe just a cup of coffee and a good series…
A cup of coffee and a series (alone) would be amazing!! Sometimes that’s all it takes to recharge. Thank you for commenting 🙂 schedule that break that you need.