Moms, Step and Play with Your Kids| How To Say Yes To More Playtime

Are you a working mom who is kicking ass and taking names at work?

And you are giving your all to make time for your family but you struggle with work life balance?

We all know this is not a perfect balance, but we are all doing our best.

I have just completed reading Shonda Rhimes’ Year of YesOne of the ideas that resonate with me is that of saying  ‘yes’ to our children.

Saying ‘yes’ to our children when they want to play and be with us is easier than we think. Okay not all the time, I am a realist too.

Shonda states that when she plays with her kids, they can only play with her for about 15 minutes before they want to move on.

Do you have 15 minutes? She asks.

[bctt tweet=”Say ‘Yes’ to your children when they ask to play with you, 15 min is doable” username=””]

Related Post7 Reasons Why I am Pretty Certain We Are Only Having Two Kids

We are out there being awesome at work.

Are you kicking ass and taking names at work?

Saying ‘yes’ to your mentors, sponsors and to those stretch assignments?

Are you putting up with a horrible boss at work?

Let’s also say ‘yes’ to our children and ourselves.

This is how it plays out mamas, admit it:

  • Mommy, please play with me outside-  Not now angel, I need to do the dishes. Just say ‘yes’.

 

  • There is a moms’ tea at my daughter’s playschool. Should I go? Gosh my diary is a nightmare…. – Just say ‘yes’ to the moms’ tea at least sometimes. We know how we can never make the moms’ tea because its smack bang in the middle of the work. But let’s just say ‘yes’ once.

[bctt tweet=”Just ‘say yes’ to playing with your kids. It will mean the world to them and you.” username=”cherralle_”]

 

 

What are some steps you can take to say ‘Yes’ to yourself and your children?

1. Weekends.

Spend time focusing on yourself and your family on weekends. Always aim to close off what you need to do on a Friday.

Then get on the floor and just play with your children.

2. When you leave work, really leave.

Okay, this is  personal, as each person needs to find their way of working. Some people, leave work earlier and then catch up in the evening after the kids are down.

Only you can hold yourself accountable for the focus you are giving. Reach out to a mentor if you are struggling, see next point. I wrote a post on this topic, Dear Working Mother, Here is How To Leave Work On Time.

3. Have a mentor who is a working mother.

We all need to have multiple mentors. Have at least one working mom that you can learn from in your personal ‘board of directors’. The challenges and guilt that you face as a working mom are unique. You will have someone you can be open with about your unique life.

4. The Sunday.

This use to be my own issue I created for myself. Working on Sundays, to ‘prepare’ for Monday.

I stopped that  as I decided to take back my Sunday evenings to read, watch a movie, spend time with my husband, whatever. That has helped me to say ‘yes’ to myself on a Sunday evening.

[bctt tweet=”I stopped working on Sundays to ‘prepare’ for Mondays because it just made me unhappy on a Sunday night. Take back your Sunday!” username=”cherralle”]

Let’s say yes to being more present

Let’s say ‘yes’ to spending time with our children, being present, they are only this little once.

In my daughters’ eyes (who is three years old) I am a ROCK STAR!! I am her ROCK STAR and I will work on saying ‘yes’ more to her (when she is not driving me nuts).

In which ways can you create more time for play?

Further Reading:

Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes: 5 Key Lessons (and why you need this book in your life)

Do I Still Need To Lean In When I Am Just So Tired?

 

{Working Mom Hack} 7 Tips to Get More Time for Yourself and Your Family

Being a working parent, I am always looking for ways to maximize time with the family and for myself. In between the morning rush, getting to work, and then running out the door at 17h00. The week is just madness.

Here are seven tips that help might just help you!

1. Grocery Shopping

Try to do as much of your grocery shopping during the week when possible or online. This will save the pain of having to take your Saturday morning to have to do your top up. Grocery shopping on the weekend is my pet peeve because it takes so much time and I feel that it ‘eats’ into my weekend time.

2. Do as much shopping as you can online

Following on from above, do as much  your shopping online if you can. Nappies, milk, meals, gifts, kids clothes, books. My favourite online shops are Woolworths, Takealot, Spree, and Zando.

3. Lower your cleaning standards; there is no ‘clean house police.’

[bctt tweet=”Working Mom Tip for saving time: Lower your cleaning standards, the cleaning police are not coming” username=”cherralle_”]
I am sorry, but I am not going to spend my weekend cleaning the whole day. Of course, keep your home in a liveable and relatively tidy state. Tidy enough so that if you have an expected visitor, you can quickly clean it in five minutes flat. Seriously the ‘house cleaning police’ are not coming. Yes, I am blessed as I have a nanny who also tidies in the week. With kids, this is a constant issue though. I promise the house is a mess on a Saturday morning. When you have spare time on the weekend, don’t clean. Just relax, read a book, do a fun activity with the kids, talk to your husband, do anything just stop cleaning. If cleaning relaxes you then, by all means, whip out the mop.

4. Cook bulk meals where possible

Try to do at least one or two bulk meals on the weekend. Even if you don’t cook, at least do as much of your preparation on the weekend. I try to cook at least two to three nights worth of dinners on the weekend, and it makes a huge difference. Some weekends I am not cooking, and am just chilling though (see the previous point!).

5. Still get your hair and nails done -but after hours

At one stage I was going to a hairdresser on my way to work where I could pop in at 7 am or after hours, and it was on my way to work. HEAVEN! I did not need to take any extra time as it was just about carving out that extra 30 – 45 minutes to get there. Ask your hairdresser or nail technician if they can accommodate special hours, just ask, a lot of salons are willing to go the extra mile and do this.

6. Block your diary

Blocking out two to three hours a day has changed my working life as I was being swept away in meetings. Blocking my dairy each day helps me have a productive time in the day where I can focus on getting things done. This means that I can manage to leave work at a decent time most days (this is an ongoing work in progress for me).

[bctt tweet=”Working mom time saver: Blocking 2 – 3 hours a day in my dairy each day allows me to get things done” username=”cherralle_”]

7. Work out a routine for your family

Did I ever mention how much I love early bedtimes? For the kids, not for me 🙂 I do need my space for a few hours in the evening to just chill out. Let’s be honest; do parents need the routine more than kids do? I think there are strong arguments for that. With my second daughter we are a bit lose on the routine, but she is perfectly fine and still sleeps decent at night! Figure out what your family needs are and go with that. Herewith an article from Quick and Dirty Tips on how to set up a family routine to simplify your life if you are interested.

Take care of yourself, as a parent you have many demands on you, work, life, family. Its important to carve time out for yourself too. This post is titled, tips for finding time for your yourself and your family.

What are your time saving tips?

5 Ways To Effectively Reinforce Good Manners in Kids

One of THEE most important jobs we have as parents is to teach our kids manners.

Pre-schoolers (those between the ages of 3 – 4) are at an age where they should be responding to some of the social graces that they have been taught and shown. I mean, you don’t want your kid to be the ‘rude kid’ right? Understandably, kids at this age are still quite self-centered. However, it is the right time for them to understand what constitutes good manners as this is part of how they learn that a world exists beyond their own needs.

Suggested Post: You Should Try This: Interview With a Toddler

My 3-year-old, is good at some manners and not so great at others. That is okay, she is little and we are working through it together.  You can review this informative list on which manners kids should have by a certain age, however this post is focused on how to reinforce the establishment of these manners.

Child Blocks
Source: Pixabay

Model the right behaviours for your child

Modelling the right behaviours are key, as our kids look at what we do and emulate us.  This at times is quite challenging for me as I am not perfect. I will be honest, I will lose my cool  some times and shout an instruction instead of saying it politely. Or say a ‘bad’ word in front of the kids without realizing when my toe hits the leg of the couch (my toe is a magnet for any hard furniture).

I think if we do the right thing at least 90% of the time, it will be okay. However, does not matter what we do, the best form of learning for kids is through observational learning from their parents.

[bctt tweet=”The best way to teach a child manners is to model the right behaviour yourself as the parent” username=”cherralle_”]

Do not force issue in public

Our children are also human beings with feelings. If a transgression occurs, politely let her know on the spot what is the polite thing to do. This needs to be done very sensitively, as the intent is not to embarrass your child. A follow on discussion in private with your child is helpful to explain further why a certain behaviour is not okay.

Suggested Post: The Side of Motherhood That We Do Not Post On Instagram

Playing games which teach good manners

A cool idea is to make practicing manners a game, as outlined in Games to teach kids good manners. At least half of the games listed can be done from age 3, and the rest from age 4 – 5.  Role playing is one the games listed, that I think could work for at least a 3-year-old. The aim of the game is to teach and discuss a certain behaviour and then role play it together with your child. Your child can display the right behaviour as well as the impolite behaviour and they can learn in this way. Learning through play is always fun for young kids.

Continuously restating good manners

When your child is not displaying good manners, it is good to restate what you want them say. Example, politely correct, and state what the correct term is. Example, if they forget to say “please” and “thank you” you need to restate how they should have said it.

Suggested Post:  Bye Bye Mommy Guilt: Why You Should Feel Proud Of Being A Working Mother

Use positive reinforcement

Positive reinforcement is a powerful way to effect a change in behaviour. This is because kids at this stage, do want their parents’ positive attentions. Recognise and make a big deal about it when they display good manners.

[bctt tweet=”Recognise and make a big deal about it when they display good manners. They want our attention” username=”cherralle_”]

In closing, it is important to be conscious of good and bad manners that your child may display. More  importantly, take an action to correct impolite behaviour however painful at that moment. In a similar vein, positively reinforce and reward good behaviours. And of course, be a good role model as best you can…most of the time.

What do you do to encourage good manners in young children?

Click on a sharing button below and share with a friend.

 

 

 

 

{Working Mom Hack} Asking For What You Want At Work (the right way)

Knowing how to go about getting what you want at work does not need to be a mystery.  As your company invests more in you, you return the favour by being the awesome employee that you are. It really is a win-win. It all starts with asking. Here are 5 working mom hacks you can apply right away, to get what you want.

What do you have to lose?

Related Post: Bye Bye Mommy Guilt, Why You Should Feel Proud of Being a Working Mother

#1 More training / study support

So, you want to study further but HR advised you that the company only covers a fraction of the fees ‘as per the policy’? Here is what you do. Work with a sponsor (your supervisor or mentor) and draft a one page motivation to request an exception. Your motivation should outline costs and acknowledge the policy (this shows you read it and you are not disregarding it).

Finally, it should include why this programme is good of your career and for the company. The fact that you have applied your mind to your studies in the context of your career will count in your favour.

#2 More flexibility

Importantly, be good at what you do when you are in the office, then  ask for flexibility . You want to be in a position where no one really cares about where you work, as you always deliver.  Suggest a trial period at first and show how it helps your employer (i.e. you will be more productive, not just easy for you).  You will often find a manager being more open to flexile arrangements if its positioned as a trial at first.

[bctt tweet=”If you are requesting more flexibility at work, ensure your work output is impeccable!” username=”cherralle_”]

#3 More maternity leave

Your company will probably have a  set policy in place, but if you want to take more time off you need to negotiate your maternity leave with your manager.. This is quite a challenging one to navigate.

Position the maternity leave request as early as possible (immediately after your completion of your first trimester). The critical factor that will be considered in an extended maternity leave is the backup plan. You will be leaving your colleagues behind to take over your work while you are off having a baby (as important as this is, it’s a pain for those left behind).

Related Post: The Other Side of Maternity Leave: The Coworkers We Leave Behind

Come up with a unique way to cover some of your responsibilities. Example, volunteer to train an Intern, you could groom someone for 6 months and you can set this person up to support the team in some activities.  Whatever the solution is, do not throw your hands up in the air. You need to lean in and work with your manager to work out what your backup plan is. This may help towards getting that extra bit of maternity leave.

#4 More professional memberships

If you want to join a professional community, whether your company has a policy or not, you should request your boss to sponsor it.  This reflects your dedication to your craft. It also helps with you remaining up to date with trends (which is good for business) and allows you to network.

Related Post: The Side of Motherhood That We Do Not Post on Instagram

[bctt tweet=”Studying further and professional memberships reflects your passion for your craft” username=”cherralle_”]

#5 More visibility

If you want to gain more exposure to high value projects, or gain more access to senior leadership – ask. Be good at what you do, and then ask for more. Your manager would be willing to expose you to more opportunities, if you have shown your credibility in other tasks.

In closing, an employer will invest in employees who have demonstrated their commitment to the company through their performance. As a valued employee, you can and must enhance your position in the company by asking for what you want. Spend time with your manager, mentor or HR to understand what is available but also be encouraged to lean in and ask for what you want. 

What do you have to lose?

What do you think, do you have any tips for asking what you want at work?

 

 

 

Destiny’s Good Schools Report 2017 is out

Destiny has launched its annual Good Schools Report, a curated list of South Africa’s top private and public schools. Moreover, this report includes school fees, annual and matric pass rates, and other relevant statistics per school.

Updated: 5 Reasons to Check out Destiny’s Good Schools Report Website

“The listings on the following pages shines a light on schools which have implemented innovative teaching methods to ensure the very best outcomes for pupils, regardless of their start in life“, as stated by its Project Editor, Sheena Adams in the July edition.

Related Post7 Things a Working Mother Wants to Tell her Boss

The list largely focuses on schools who take innovative approaches to science and math. Some of the top private schools are St Anne’s, Glenwood house, Crawford College and Reddam House. A few of the top public schools listed are Grey College, Collegiate Girls’ High School, Parkview Senior Primary and Westerford High School.

The Good Schools Report is going online

Destiny is launching a website (www.goodschoolsreport.com) which will provide a more comprehensive review of education in South Africa. Interestingly, this will include submissions by parents to its listings.

[bctt tweet=”It can be challenging to find a good school due to supply and demand (lack of quality schools).” username=”cherralle_”]

The expanded focus of the website, will provide a broader assessment of schools and not just a handpicked few. Over and above that, I hope that it will show which qualities other parents value in schools. As a (fairly) new parent the latter point is important to me. My daughter enters primary school in three years and I will be consulting the new website for insights.

Destiny  also encourages us to sign up for the Good Schools Report newsletter  which I have done.

I will be accessing the website soon after its launch and will share my insights here.

Further Reading: Part 1: Our Journey Of Equally Shared Parenting

 

5 signs that you are a millennial mom

A millennial mom is smart, technology savvy and  does not succumb to societal norms. Born during the 1980s to late 1990s, this is a generation of moms who have grown along with the rise of technology. They also have the unique challenge or raising kids completely immersed in the digital age.

Here are the 5 signs that you are a millennial mom

There is an app for that?!

If there is an app that can make your life easier, you have it. You use Ubereats for your takeout dinners, you use takealot  to purchase anything from formula, nappies, kids toys and  you book family vacays on Airbnb.

Brands and products who have managed to “integrate digitization and mobility”  and can make life easier for millennial moms will be highly valued, see article from DigiDay. 

Are you smarter than a millennial mom?

You are educated and comfortable researching a variety of topics online pertaining to your kids. Millennial moms are  more educated than any other generation of moms, and they use this to the advantage of their families.

They said what?!

You don’t move on a brand purchase, until you have found their online presence. You also ask your close friends and colleagues for advice on purchases and you freely share reviews too.

36% of millennials moms do not trust marketing campaigns, and rather want to read  unbiased reviews or chat to friends.

Do not label my parenting style

As millennial mom, you have different sides to your personality and  your parenting style is reflective of this. Thus, you may be a combination of a  home maker, fashionista, cook, bread winner and a working mom.

The one common thread about millennial moms is their focus on their children. Check out this article by Weber Shanwick  where the diverse parenting styles of  a millennial mom are discussed. This is a dilemma for brands and products who cannot ‘pin point’ marketing to millennial moms.

More than just a mom

You need to be able to express your whole self, whether that is through personal hobbies or just “me time”. Your role as a mom is only one aspect of who you are, albeit a very important one there are other sides to you.

Being a millennial mom to me is about individuality and being able to comfortably express myself . I have a traditional role in our family sometimes, but I am also independent and  driven by my own aspirations.

There you have it! Tell me in the comments, what makes you a unique millennial mom?

 

Maternity Leave – 5 Practical Steps to Make Returning to Work Easier

Returning back to work after being on maternity leave is a daunting experience. I fully enjoyed both my maternity leaves and being a stay at home mom for that time. I must admit I was happy to join the world of work again.

However, there were challenges integrating back into work and the below steps helped me to ease back into things.

Further Reading: Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law and What Moms Have To Say

Here are 5 practical tips to make integrating back to work easier.

back to work from maternity leave

Have a 1:1 with your manager before your official return

It is useful to take a touch point before your return to work, in order to understand how the team and work allocations have evolved in your absence. Schedule a 30 minute coffee catch up a few weeks before your return to check in with your manager and/ or colleagues.

[bctt tweet=”Schedule a 30 minute coffee catch up a few weeks before your return to check in with your manager and/ or colleagues” username=”cherralle_”]

Do a few test runs before you actually return to work

During both my maternity leaves, I actively started spending short amounts of time away from home from about two to three weeks before returning to work. This allowed my helper and the babies space to bond without me mothering around. It also helped me and the babies get use to being away from each other. And… I got a whole lot of free time to relax and have some me time.

Take a lead role in planning your work life integration

Returning from maternity leave means that your life style has changed. This has a definitive impact on how you manage your time and energy between work and home.  If you don’t plan your life and work, it will be planned for you.

Be firm with boundaries, and be flexible when you are able to. What works for me is that on a daily basis I have a recurring block out in my diary between 16h00 – 17h00. This helps me to consolidate my last hour at work, and also limits me being pulled into last minute meetings that run over. I am flexible around it of course, but I have had zero issues in the last 3 years of doing this.

Further Reading: Bye Bye Mommy Guilt, Why You Should Feel Proud of Being a Working Mom

Don’t be so hard on yourself

Accept that it will be difficult to figure out your new lifestyle with work.

You are no longer the person you were before. There will be lots and lots of mommy guilt that you may feel around leaving your child, and lots of ‘career guilt’ as you feel you are just not as available anymore. No special formula exists, just figure out what works for you and be intentional about it.

[bctt tweet=”There will be lots of mommy guilt once you return to work from maternity, don’t be so hard on yourself” username=”cherralle_”]

Talk to other moms

We are all in trying to make this thing called ‘motherhood’ work.

Motherhood is the most beautiful thing in this world to me, but its also terrifying, and kids can be annoying.

I have come to realise that moms face similar challenges, we just need to talk to each other about it. [bctt tweet=”Parenting is not a science, it is about doing the best we can to love and protect our families.” username=”cherralle_”]

Did I miss anything? What made your integration back to work after maternity leave easier?

Further Reading: {Working Mom Hack} 7 Tips to Get More Time for Yourself and Your Family

To my husband on father’s day

I am always talking about how wonderful and cute my kids are. So today for father’s day I want to  dedicate this post to my husband who is kinda awesome too.

here goes…

When we met I knew you would be an incredible father, although I did not know how much I would love you for it. Even then, you believed in family values and I was sort of overwhelmed.

 

It was a bit too intense for me then. I am glad you are the one I chose to build a family with, and here is why.

 

new baby, father, father's day

You are the foundation of our family and I appreciate all you do for me and our girls.

You constantly go above and beyond for our family, making sure we are well looked after in every way, especially by being present. Watching you with the kids, I can see that being a father to our girls is a role you take very seriously and  that you take pride in.

I can see that they bring you so much joy and you bring to them.

When one of the girls are up in the night, you are there without (much 🙂 ) complaining.

When the kids are sick and need to see the doctor or we need a quick prescription, you quickly sort it out. You always take Caitlyn for swimming or play games outside, you gladly take her. When I need to work late you are there, you are always there without complaints. And I thank you for being there, for me and our girls in all the ways.

I love you Zane, and thank you for sharing this journey called parenthood with me.

Fathers day - daughter and dad

Father's day - daughter and father
Source: i-Stock

 

Tips for managing kids’ screen time

Let’s be honest, it is easy to give your child a phone or tablet when you need them to keep themselves occupied.  In this digital age kids are surrounded by screens constantly. The AAP   and Common Sense Media stresses that it is important to monitor children’s screen time. Although it is important for kids to know how to operate as ‘digital natives’, there are limits that need to be placed on screen time

How much screen time is okay?

All screens are equal

Spending time on a LeapPad, IPhone, and then watching Tv  are all considered screen time and need to be added up.

Limited screen time to between 1 – 2 hours max per day

Actively monitor what your kids are up to when watching TV/ screens, and encourage other forms of activity and play as well. Reading, playing games, arts and crafts are more stimulating entertaining for young minds. In our home, we allow Caitlyn (my three year old) mostly free reign on weekends, however we do limit her screen time in the week. To be honest, if its a day turns out to be a heavy TV/ screen day, then we just balance it out.

Be a positive role model

The reality is that when you are watching tv, guess what, your child will want to emulate you. Display positive behaviours such as reading and other forms of activities.  Be present and engaged with your child, play together, or read a book together. Invite your child  help you with small housework chores. Caitlyn absolutely loves doing the dishes with me (although its more clean up afterwards for me!).

Watch tv together

Make watching movies and programmes with your kids a habit so that it becomes a family activity. Consequently, you will be less likely to use tv as a ‘babysitter’. Watching a movie with Caitlyn on the weekend after Saturday morning activities is a good way to relax.

Hide or disable the screens

Yes I hide the screens! I find in our house it is just better sometimes to not have the phone or  laptop in sight. This way we don’t even think about a screen and we end up doing other activities like puzzles, colouring, etc.

I am conscious of my daughter’s screen time, but I am not fanatic about it. If she ends up watching a lot of tv as that’s just how the day turned out, then we just balance out in the next day or two.

What are your thoughts on screen time?

 

All Hell Broke Loose When I Came Home With Baby Number 2

Becoming a mother is exhilarating, wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I know because I have two beautiful daughters. When I had my second baby Ava, it was as magical meeting her for the first time as it was with my eldest, Caitlyn.

Although…going home with a new baby the second time around was completely different. I was so unprepared.

Related Post: Are Antenatal Classes Worth it? Real Moms and Experts Weigh In

 

The Birth

I had quite a ‘smooth’ birth. So I hear! Apparently I am lucky that it was a short birth. It still hurt like hell though.

I had slight cramps during the day, and I went in for a scheduled induction that evening which never happened.

I was about 2 cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital at around 8pm. My second daughter Ava was born somewhere around 11pm that night. My husband took the most ghastly pictures of me (it ain’t pretty and will NEVER see the light of day) but a beautiful moment nonetheless.

 

At the hospital

I felt great after the birth and was eager to get home to Caitlyn. I had a sense of confidence (or cockiness) – like ‘I got this’. It was a false sense of confidence.

So I left the hospital as soon as possible. Although the hospital requested that I stay an extra day. Ever so confident, I respectfully declined,

After the first night home, I regretted not taking the extra day in hospital.

It was a big adjustment for everyone. Firstly, breastfeeding was not working out. I just did not understand how something so ‘natural’ felt so completely unnatural to me. I tried, I really tried.

There were a lot of tears, mine, Ava and Caitlyn’s.

I  hired a hospital grade breast pump and for two weeks solid (it felt much longer) I pumped day and night 6 to 8 times a day. Pumping consumed our lives. I was refrigerating milk, sterilizing bottles, I even acquired a hands free pumping kit. The production line was in full swing.

I spent a fortune on my breast feeding journey. I had a breast feeding nurse; pump (free from medical aid); then hired a hospital grade pump; hands free kit; nipple protectors; cream – the works!

 

 

Joy escaped me

I had limited time with Caitlyn, Ava and my husband. It was an unhappy time. There was no joy. After two weeks I decided to stop it and just focus on being present.

I gave up on pumping. Of course, I felt like the worse mother in the world. The motherhood guilt settled in like an old friend.

Things got a bit better after that. I could rest a bit a more, go to bed early (as no scheduled pumps). Not being under constant pressure of pumping every 2 – 3 hours was amazing.

The shift from one child to two was hard

I was constantly exhausted, having two children to take care of kept me on my toes daily.

Caitlyn’s sleep deteriorated badly in this period, and for about two weeks straight Caitlyn got up at 4am to get the day started.  That is waking up at 4am to see to Caitlyn after Ava just gone back sleep.

I also underestimated the impact it would have on Caitlyn overall. Adjusting from being the only child, to having a new person in her space was a significant change. Caitlyn struggled quite a bit at the beginning and she needed time to adapt to the new world.

However, I am happy to say that as time passed their relationship grew.  Ava is 8 months old and they have already developed a strong bond.

And  I am thrilled about having two little girls.

I had to learn to let go,  not sweat the small things, and not stress too much about the routine. It took time to adjust, but now I honestly cannot picture my life without both my girls.

Herewith (yet another) picture of my two beautiful angels 🙂

 

Further Reading: 7 Reasons Why I am Pretty Certain We Are Only Having Two Kids

Two kids, baby