How to Stop Networking And Start Building Relationships

When I hear the term ‘networking’ I want to run a mile, being naturally an introvert the language creates discomfort. I know that networking is a critical aspect of building my professional and personal network. But I still picture it as an awkward scenario whereby I am standing around making small talk.

What helps is when I frame networking as follows: a group of people with shared interests and passions, who are coming together to share their passions with each other. It is about building and investing in relationships. Networking is not about ‘who you know’ and how you can ‘score favours’. It is the art of establishing a circle of people around you that you add value to and they do the same for you.

[bctt tweet=”Networking is not about scoring favours, it is about how you can add value to those in your circle” username=”cherralle_”]

Related Post: 6 Hacks To Transform Your CV In 20 Minutes

How to Stop Networking and Build Relationships

Be Intentional

When networking, it’s important to not come across as just ‘wanting’ something from the other person. However, it remains  important to know who are the people in your space and to identify the ones you want to get to know. Remember that we all only have a certain amount of resources (e.g. time) and you want to spend it wisely.

Do Social Research

Conduct brief social research on the individuals you want to add to your network. Check out their LinkedIn, Twitter or any blogs they write. In this way, you may learn some relevant information about people. You will also get a glimpse into what their interests are.

Add Value

Know how you add value to others. Go with the intent of understanding how you may help and add value to others, and then these individuals may help you in the future. If your intent is to ‘network’ to get favours and jobs, you need to change this. People can pick up if you are trying to use them, hence focus on the value you bring to the table.

[bctt tweet=”People can pick up if you are trying to use them, hence focus on the value you bring to the table” username=”cherralle_”]

Related Post: 7 Leadership Lessons From Game Of Thrones Season 7

Treat All People Equal

It may be tempting to ‘overlook’ someone who you may deem as unimportant. However, each person is unique and has their own value. If someone engages with you, who is not the director of something, do not brush them off, engage. You will be surprised what you can learn by building relationships with a diverse group of people.

Be Interested to be Interesting

The more interested you are in others, the more interesting you will come across. As human beings, we love to be listened to and acknowledged. Connect with a person through showing genuine interest in them. Listen carefully when they speak so you can engage on where they are coming from and contribute meaningfully to what they are saying.

When I break it down like this, it does not seem overwhelming or awkward. So next time you set up a function (or invited to one), think of not calling it a networking event and calling it what it is. The purpose of such an event should be to connect like minded people to share ideas.

Related Post: 13 Tips For Your Twenties That Can Boost Your Career

Featured Image: istock

The Maternal Wall: How to Disrupt Bias Against Working Mothers

“One of the worst career moves a woman can make is to have children”, states Clair Cain Miller in the New York Times.

Given an identical CV to review, with only 4 words added to the one (member of the PTA); 79% of participants chose the candidate who is not a mother. Mothers are 50% less likely to get promoted. These are stats shared  by Joanne C Williams. A further study cited in the  Journal of Social Studies backs this up, where it was found that subtly adding to a candidate profile that she was a  mother, led to the mother being less likely to be chosen for assignments, promoted and marked as less competent. A maternal wall is a form of bias towards women  because they have children. Therefore, it is the strongest form of bias faced by women.

[bctt tweet=”‘Maternal Wall’ is the strongest form of bias faced by women, just because they have children.” username=”cherralle_”]

In this post I will discuss:

  • What is maternal bias, and how it shows up
  • Steps women can take to disrupt the maternal wall bias
  • Steps employers can take to disrupt the maternal wall bias

Related Post: Bye Bye Mommy Guilt – Why You Should Feel Proud Of Being a Working Mom

photoshoot parents and child

What is maternal wall bias

Maternal wall bias kicks in as soon as women have children,  subtly their career prospects are impacted. It is linked to perceptions regarding how a mother should behave, where her place is and an assumption that she will pick the ‘mommy track’. Mommy track is defined as a path selected by mothers who choose to put their family first and ‘opt out’ of a career. Mothers are seen as less competent than childless counterparts. On the other hand mothers are also seen as ‘harsh and cold’ if they remain committed to their careers.

I have experienced this form of unconscious bias when I get asked why I stay late at work, ‘because I have children’. However, this question is not asked of my colleagues with no kids. Which is absurd as staying late at work impacts employees whether they have children or not.  “What are your kids and husband having for supper?”, I have been asked. These are well-meaning questions and not meant to do any harm, but it demonstrates unconscious bias and judgment that working mothers face. “You are not interested in a career path are you, your child needs you?”, I was asked by a well-meaning individual.

Undesirable employees, who are unable to commit is an incorrect perception of working mothers, which is part of the maternal wall bias. Seen as full of ‘issues’ and ‘not committed’. On the other hand, when working mothers remain career committed and ambitions they are deemed to be ‘not maternal enough’  and made out to be ‘cold’, as stated in the Harvard Business Review.

mother and daughter

How mothers may disrupt the maternal wall bias

As discussed by Joan C Williams.

Set realistic standards for yourself

Know that being available 24/7 for your kids all the time is not possible. Let go of perfectionism, and accept that striving for perfection will cause additional stressors in family life.

Related Post: Featured: Why I Am Okay With Being a Good Enough Parent

If you remain career committed, signal it very clearly

When you return from maternity leave, make a point of discussing your career goals with your manager. If you want to be promoted,  willing to travel, relocate and if you are the primary earner – you need state this clearly. If you do not state this explicitly, certain assumption will be made for you.

Related Post: Maternity Leave: 5 Practical Steps To Make Returning To Work Easier

Strive for equal parenting if it suits your value system

Provided you are not a single parent. Know that you are not solely accountable for the well-being of your child and family. Engage and discuss with your partner how to share home responsibilities.

If you are a mother in a senior position, you must be a role model

You are in a position to set an example for others when you reach a level in the organisation when you have people who report to you. By showing your motherhood and announcing when you need to leave early for an event at your child’s school, sets the tone for the environment. Very importantly, it creates a space to allow mothers and fathers to be open about their parenthood.

Related Post: Do I Still Need To Lean In When I Am Just So Tired?

How employers may disrupt the maternal wall bias

Promotions, salary, and assignments need to be free of bias

Review policies and processes to ensure that this bias does not come into play. When making employment decisions, someone’s care giver status cannot be a factor.

Adopt a flexible approach to work

One way to overcome bias is to apply more flexibility for all employees (care givers included). Work becomes about outcomes and not the hours clocked. The reality is that caregivers do need the flexibility to provide adequate care for their children (or ill family members).

[bctt tweet=”Adopting a flexible approach to work can negate the effects of bias that working mothers face ” username=”cherralle)”]

Do not make assumptions

An employer should never assume anything because someone is a mother. Example, not awarding someone a new stretch role because she has just returned from maternity leave. It remains key to discuss each assignment with a mother as you would with any other person. Then let the individual advise if there are constraints.

 

Pregnant woman and child

Scheduling main activities after hours on a recurring basis

I accept that we do not live in a fairy tale where every thing happens before 17h00, and in some high pressure environments this is a reality. The point about late meetings links to the point about flexibility. If an environment demands late meetings there should be flexibility to accommodate early days. Then it balances out.

Scheduling key and strategic activities after hours impact working mothers. In my opinion, this is a subtle and gentle way of nudging mothers out of the work force. If a working mother is constantly  (unconsciously) expected to choose between a career and her children, given a choice she will pick her kids. After being constantly placed in this position, women may opt to leave the work force or ‘down scale’ their career.

I am a career committed parent

My approach to my work and life, is being flexible, focused and outcome oriented. My role as a mother is who I am.  I am a career committed parent.

Read further: The Side of Motherhood That We Do Not Post On Instagram

Working mothers are excellent employees in my opinion!

Working mothers are focused, don’t waste time, and drive for results. They know they have a set amount of time within which to work. They are also natural leaders, because they co-lead families, and they have agility. You need agility to be able to deal with everything a parent has to deal with, lack of sleep, tantrums, homework, planning meals, school functions, family projects, and the list goes on.

[bctt tweet=”Allow mothers the space to be mothers. Mothers are excellent employees, they drive for results. ” username=”cherralle_”]

The reality is that most women will end up having children. The reality is that fatherhood is changing, fathers WANT to play a stronger role in the family too. It is time to sit up and take note of this. If we want to create companies and governments with the best leadership talent, we need men and women to lead.

Have you positively disrupted  the maternal wall in your career? Tell me in the comments!

 

 

Featured Image: pixabay

Image: pixabay

Reflections on August and Social Media Tools For The Blog

I am three months into my blogging journey. Yay! Still going strong and still wondering why I picked this as a hobby *tongue in cheek*. Last month I blogged why I want to write for working mothers, you may check out this post here.

This update will consist of:

  • What I learnt in August
  •  Social Media and Its Tools – how it is going so far
  • Top 5 articles for the month of August

 

What I learnt in August

Life stuff

  • Young people have wisdom too. I was blown away by a group of young women who shared their story at Womens’ Day Event at work. Two of whom were in their twenties and they were mining engineers (yes miners who went underground!). They each shared their teachable point of view and a life lesson. These young women were strong enough to break into a male dominated industry, but also learned how to thrive and maintain their own identity as women.
  • I cannot manage time. I have given up on managing time. The hours are the hours. As life gets more intense with work and personal demands increasing, its what I choose to do with my time. Prioritization is important.
  • Motherhood is not always joyous. I don’t need any person to agree or disagree. I own it. Its tiring, exhausting, and sometimes I want to do other stuff. But I trek home and do my part for my kids. I wrote about the part of the motherhood we do not Instagram about here.

Blog stuff

  • I optimized my blog for mobile. Very critical as 80 – 90% of people reading, do so on their phones. I was stuck on how it looked on desk top, I neglected the mobile piece. Well that is fixed now!
  • Bloggers are the friendliest bunch of people you will ever meet! I attended my first blogger meet up though SA Mom Blogs!
  • I guest posted on Nicole Subben’s blog Peanut Gallery 24/7 about top three books for women; and one my articles was posted on Parent 24, You Online and Women 24, check it out here.
  • I learnt about Social media! See next section!
social media granny
Giphy

How Social Media is Working Out For Me

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/mydailycake/

I launched my Facebook page in Early August. Yay! Using facebook from the perspective of a ‘blog’ is very different. Facebook is a channel for me to get my posts out to my target audience.

  • Facebook remains my main source of traffic (90%).
  • Organic reach on facebook remains very low and it is predicted to become lower, and so ‘boosting’ is required. Only 16% of your page fans on Facebook will see your post.
  • Your Facebook page is a heaven for marketing , if you do targeted boosting.
  • Boosting an actual post, even for $2 for a day or two may be needed in order to get it in front of the right eyes
  • A combination of timing (Thurs/ Friday is better); an engaging caption and ‘clickable’ blog post title grabs attention!

[bctt tweet=”Facebook drives 90% of my blog traffic. But Low Organic reach is a reality (more boosting)” username=”cherralle_”]

Instagram

http://www.instagram.com/cherralle

I have a love hate relationship with Instagram.

  • I find it fun and beautiful.
  • The fact that someone can use one picture and tell a short story around it, is amazing.
  • Engagement, is short and sweet
  • Instagram has expanded its offerings with stories, live streaming and multi picture posts! Its definitely a platform I will continue to spend time on.
  • What annoys me is people who follow you, wait for you to follow them then unfollow you!  Its exhausting. Can people just follow who they want to follow?  Stop being dodgy.

Twitter

@cherralle_

I am loving twitter.

  • I have been using Hootsuite to proactively schedule out tweets. Which is helpful as I do not have much opportunity to tweet during the day.
  • Hootsuite is one of my ultimate favourite tools right now plus they have an awesome blog for of useful content!
  • I definitely find myself using Twitter a lot. I am reading articles and blogs from twitter mostly. Personally it’s my ‘go to’ platform for reading and education at this stage.

Pinterest

I am experimenting with the free versions of Tailwind and Boardbooster to schedule daily pins. Pinterest is not a social media platform but a visual search engine. And so, the idea is to generate traffic from Pinterest through creating visually appealing pins linked to my blog. In this way I could get into the news feed of my audience or in search results. I will see how that goes! Pinterest now matches Instagram in terms of website traffic. No, don’t get excited, its miniscule! Oh, and I changed my profile to a business account, which has more features.

Not Social Media: But Canva

I am obsessed with Canva!

It is my ULTIMATE favourite tool right now, and it is free! I use CANVA to create images for Instagram, blog featured images and Pinterest!

Top 5 Articles for August:

Pumping Breast milk at work

 

7 Leadership Lessons from Game of Thrones Season 7

Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law and What Mothers Have To Say

6 Hacks To Transform Your CV in 20 Minutes

Bye Bye Mommy Guilt, Why You Should Feel Proud Of Being a Working Mother

Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes: 5 Key Lessons (and why you need this book in your life)

Quite a variety of posts. People of course loved the Game Of Thrones post, and the other posts are all focused on sharing helful content with others. Funnily enough the game of Thrones post, I thought of on a Sunday morning as I was watching a repeat. I completed and posted it right then and there the same morning. The Breast Pumping at Work Post, was well received as this is a real question on women’s minds. Also, this post required research.

I am looking forward to learning more through my blog in the coming months!

 

Featured Image: Pixabay

The Side of Motherhood That We Don’t Post on Instagram

Motherhood is not always joyous. I am not writing this for validation. And the trolls, please, this is my blog. Click the X and leave if you have an issue.

Social media is a highlights reel of life, and there are other sides to me, to all of us.

Parenting, is not always fun. It’s tiring, exhausting, and sometimes I want to do other stuff. But I am home and I do my part for my family.

Being a parent is a huge responsibility. And I decided to take on this responsibility.

  1. I accept that it is not fun all the time. By accepting when I am just tired, overwhelmed and didn’t feel like cooking or doing something, I can just feel and deal with the emotion.
  2. I have an outstanding partner in my husband. He allows me the space to disconnect from time to time and be alone.
  3. I am an introvert by nature. I need to be alone. Like really alone. And just read, or write to reframe myself. Even if it’s just 30 minutes in the middle of a day on a Sunday or whenever.

Caitlyn 1 week old
Maybe I am just not a touchy feely person, but some of the things never resonated with me.

  1. Birth was not a magical experience. I was lucky in both cases as I had short deliveries. But they were painful. I wanted pain medication so badly, so badly, but the anaesthetist could not come in time. Up until today, when I sneeze, I need to be careful that I don’t wee (moms who gave birth know what I mean). TMI!
  2. Pregnancy was never magical. The first one was okayish, the second was horrible. I was tired all the time, at times I could not eat, drink or sleep. Barely coping. I had morning sickness up until I was around six months pregnant.
  3. I could not cope with waking up multiple times at night after my kids were born. Both my children were sleep coached by 12 weeks.
  4. Breastfeeding was never beautiful for me. It was painful and disappointing. I spent thousands on trying to get this right. I had a personal breast feeding consultant, feeding bras; then I moved to pumping exclusively. I rented a hospital grade pump; I bought the hands-free kit, more bras. It is clearly a huge industry; there are a lot things that goes along with pumping.

[bctt tweet=”The ‘magic’ may not always be there. It is okay to have your unique motherhood experience.” username=”cherralle_”]

So why am I even saying all of this?

Because I believe that each motherhood experience is unique, and you should be allowed to feel what you need to without fear of judgment.

I cannot define my whole being by my motherhood. I need to be other things. In that sense I am glad I chose the husband that I have, because he partners with me in our family life.

[bctt tweet=”Each motherhood experience is unique and you should be allowed the space without fear of judgement” username=”cherralle_”]

Is motherhood fulfilling?

For me, yes.

To be honest, sometimes it’s also not fulfilling. Sometimes it’s draining.

I have two beautiful, smart and feisty daughters. And I have the pleasure of raising them together with my husband. That is a gift and I will risk my own life for my girls. Just because I admit that its not sunshine and roses all the time does not mean I do not love them. I do love them and I am proud to be their mother. When I see them making each other laugh, or Caitlyn bringing Ava a top when she is cold –  my heart melts.

Overall, I feel that we need to play open cards on the realities of parenthood. It’s not all sunshine and roses and ‘Instagrammable’.

But I am calling it, motherhood has two sides. The beautiful part that we put on Instagram, and the other part that we need to also admit that we feel and share.

Related Reading:

When I Came Home With Baby Number 2

6 Tips for Surviving Morning Sickness At Work

Bye Bye Mommy Guilt, Why You Should Feel Proud of Being a Working Mother

Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law And What Moms Have To Say

7 Leadership Lessons from Game Of Thrones Season 7

The real world is not Game Of Thrones, a fantasy world with dragons, dragon queens, super heroes and white walkers. But, there are a few key leadership lessons from Game of Thrones that we can learn from.

This post contain spoilers! 

 

7 Leadership Lessons from Game Of Thrones Season 7

game of thrones leadership lessons

1. Use your strongest talent for your most pressing business challenges

Jon Snow and Jorah Mormont are two of Daenerys’ strongest and loyal supporters. It had to be them to lead the journey to retrieve a white walker. The white walker was critical so that it can be used to get Cersei on board to join forces to fight the white walkers and their zombies.

In this example she used her top talent for her most critical mission.

[bctt tweet=”Like Daenerys – use your strongest talent for your most pressing business challenges #gameofthrones” username=”cherralle_”]

 

2. Know your people’s strengths and assign them accordingly

When Jon Snow sees that they will be ambushed by a horde of wights (the zombie things that White Walkers created).  Jon Snow quickly turns to Gendry and asks him to be the one to run to the Wall and organise the raven to go to Daenerys asking for urgent help. He protests, but Jon Snow states bluntly that he is the fastest.

If that’s not leadership, then I don’t know what is! The fact that Gendry did make it and the raven was critical in getting them assistance at that crucial point. As a leader, know what your people are good at and make sure they play their position.

3. Groom your replacement

Brienne of Tarth has groomed Podrick Payne over several seasons. To the extent that she trusts him to look after Sansa when she needs to go to Kinds Landing. Big ups to Brienne for investing time in coaching Podrick to become an astute swordsman and protector, if you remember he could not even hold a sword! Are you investing time and energy into grooming replacements?

4. Have advisors around you who can challenge you and help shape your vision

An excellent example is Tyrion (an astute strategic advisor) who consistently provides Daenerys with more than just strategic guidance. He also disagrees with her and is an active participant in shaping the vision of the ‘new world’ they want to create.

5. Go for the hearts and minds of your subjects (employees) and do not use fear to lead

This is the ongoing coaching that Tyrion provides to Daenerys, don’t lead with fear. Yes, it will get you results but not endearing loyalty, people will be waiting for you to die (or leave the department in our world okay). Allow people to buy into the bigger vision and journey; you will get better results and more engaged team members.

 

6. When building an empire (or company; team) begin as you mean to go on

Tyrion coaches Daenerys to not start with death and destruction to win the war. But to show the people that she is a leader striving for a better world for everyone. If she starts with death and destruction that will be her legacy and she will be no different from others.

7. Inclusion and Diversity is HUGE in Game of Thrones!

We see that the key players in Game of Thrones currently are women. Even though due to their gender, they were not meant to be there. Sansa is Lady of Winterfell, Arya is a badass, Cersei is Queen of Kings Landing! Also,  if you look at the board of advisors which Daenerys has, she has a female, males and all from different back grounds.  In this way she gets a various perspectives as she leads and conquers.

[bctt tweet=”#gameofthrones showing that diversity matters! Women hold key leadership roles in season 7″ username=”cherralle_”]

So although we do not have dragons flying around in our world, we should keep an eye on these lessons!

So… die hard Game of Thrones fans, did I miss anything?

Read More:

13 Tips for your Twenties That Can Boost Your Career

6 Hacks to Transform Your CV in 20 Minutes

First Time Manager? 6 Smart Tips to Go From Rock Star Employee to Manager

 

13 Tips for Your Twenties That Can Boost Your Career

Your twenties is a period of huge growth, learning and personal development. Here are a few tips to be aware of, but hey you are so smart I am sure you are doing this already!

13 Tips for Your Twenties That Can Boost Your Career

  1. Success does not mean burn out

    Set the tone for how you integrate your work and life from the start.  Drop the mentality of ‘work hard in your twenties’ and then ‘cool down’ when wanting to build a family or drive personal goals later. Rather live a full life now, do it now, do not wait for a magical moment, this is the magical moment. It will be incredibly hard to make that shift later in life. [bctt tweet=”Yes work hard, work incredibly hard, but live.” username=”cherralle_”]

  2. Drives outcomes and results,  not processes

    No matter what field of work you are in, your work will be assessed on an outcome that was achieved and not a process that was followed (and results may or may not be there). Build a reputation around outcomes.

  3. Don’t be fixated on the idea of a particular job title

    Be flexible; jobs change, heck, industries change. Focus on adding value, being relevant and being impactful. Have your next career step mapped out  (this is good) but not ten steps ahead.

  4. Be a problem solver

    If you have the energy to complain about something, have the energy to do something about it. Channel your energies into positive thinking.

  5. Maintain a positive online presence

    A study by Jobvite (a recruiting platform) reflects that 93% of prospective employers will review potential employees’ social media activity. In addition, more than half have reconsidered a candidate’s application based on what was found. Place your facebook and Instagram on private if you are a ‘party’ animal. Have an updated LinkedIn Profile, here are 6 ways to step up your LinkedIn game.  LinkedIn is key because it is an extension of brand.

  6. Update your CV every 6 – 12 months

    A CV is not all about job hunting; it should also capture your key accomplishments as you go along. In order not to forget your key accomplishments update it on an ongoing basis. Here are 6 steps to update your CV in 20 minutes.

  7. Build a network of meaningful relationships

    When building a network, consider how you add value to people in your network, before you think about how to get something out. Networking is not about having people on tap to get favours from. Always lead with what value you can add to a person. ‘Networking is about connecting people, not collecting people’, says Linda Cattalyn.

    [bctt tweet=”Always consider how you add value to your network. It will come back to you as good karma. ” username=”cherralle_”]

  8. Negotiate, Negotiate, Negotiate

    The first offer of anything, almost always has room for improvement. When  reviewing an offer, always negotiate.  I wrote a post about how to go about asking for things at work such as a flexible arrangement, study assistance, etc. If you are adding value to your company, you should be able to  negotiate in these instances.

  9. Have mentors

    Plural is key. Have mentors, each of whom will give you guidance in different aspects of your life and career. I also recommend that if you are a mother, have at least one mentor who is a working mother, just to get this angle covered. Also, don’t get fixated on a mentor, because they also change as you change and evolve.

  10. Have sponsors

    Have mentors, but sponsors are even better. When a particular assignment comes up, this person will advocate for you in your absence and will ensure your accomplishments are known. Herewith further insights on why a sponsor is critical, Why Mentoring Is Overrated And How To Make It Really Count.

  11. Always dress for the job you want

    Always dress up one level higher. Appearance is part of your brand, and you want your brand to say ‘I mean business’. In whichever field you are, always dress for the job you want.

  12. For goodness sake, be wise financially

    Make smart financial choices in your twenties, so that you build financial stability. Why this is important? So that you do not need to make decisions purely driven by money later on as your lifestyle changes. Be wise, don’t go for that over priced apartment or car. You may buy over priced shoes though. I feel in your twenties you need to do buy at least one pair of overpriced shoes.

  13. Progress is better than perfection

    Give up on perfection. I am not saying that you must be okay with mediocre performance, still, pursue excellence. Sometimes by seeking perfection, making sure that everything is ‘just right’ is hindering progress. In some cases 90% is good enough, you need to discern when. Move forward on something and adjust as you go along, it is okay. How many times have you spent hours on a client presentation and only a third was required? How many hours during planning have you dedicated to modelling and estimates too early in a process? Only to find it change. How many hours spent on tweaking and re-tweaking which made no difference to the actual impact of a deliverable? Progress is better than perfection.

[bctt tweet=”Progress now is better than perfection delivered at some future date.” username=”cherralle_”]

Be open to learning, growing and its okay to make mistakes. Any choice you make in your twenties is not written in stone!

Featured Image: Pixabay

 

The Other Side of Maternity Leave: The Coworkers We Leave Behind

Do you know that us moms we LOVE talking about our maternity leave? The favourite is how it was not a holiday. Actually, it was not a holiday for our coworkers either. The other side of maternity leave is about our coworkers who had to step up at work. Society spends a lot of time focused on the individual going on maternity, her and baby, and then her return.  What we do not zone in on is the additional work our coworkers had to manage.

I had two maternity leaves, and I even have a whole section on my blog dedicated to the maternity leave so this was my internal reflection.

[bctt tweet=”Maternity Leave is not a holiday. But it is not a holiday for colleagues either. Lets be grateful” username=”cherralle_”]

I would like to challenge us all to reflect on our colleagues who had to step in at work while we were on maternity.

Related Post: 7 Things a Working Mother Wants To Tell her Boss

Here Are 4 Reasons Why Our Colleagues Who Supported Us Need a Thank You

 

maternity leave and coworkers

 

The load you had to carry

In many organisations, a company may not hire a temporary replacement for someone who goes on maternity leave. Simply put, work often gets shifted around and spread across the team. This means that those left behind have to carry an extra load during this time.

You do it with a smile

No complaints nothing, just purely supporting us who need the time to go off. Yes, we must go on maternity, but we are still grateful.

In many instances, our colleagues are impacted at work too when others are on maternity, and it is appreciated.

[bctt tweet=”we should show gratitude to our colleagues who picked up the extra load when we went on maternity leave” username=”cherralle_)”]

Related Post: 7 Reasons Why I am Pretty Certain We Are Only Having Two Kids

A warm, friendly welcome back

When I came back,  my colleagues were supportive and helpful. Helping me ease back into things and explaining patiently and slowly what is happening at work.  I forgot so many things while on maternity. Erm…how do I log on now again?  I have just been away for five months, and all they wanted to know was how I was doing and be genuinely helpful. That was selfless, and I was grateful for that.

You spoilt me

I was showered with presents for myself and the little one by my colleagues. People do not NEED to get anything for a new baby. It was done out of the goodness of their hearts and they were genuinely happy and supportive of my pregnancy.

Further Reading: Maternity Leave – 5 Practical Steps to Make Returning To Work Easier

So when you, are going on, or have returned from maternity leave:

  1. Be grateful. Do not take it for granted what our colleagues have done and are doing to support and keep things afloat. Remember in most cases they will need to carry an extra load.
  2. Be empathetic. Yes we know it’s tough going on and coming back from maternity, and you need your colleagues and boss to support you as you return to worl.  Just remember that your colleagues may also be going through tough times.
  3. Pay it forward. Know that your time will come when you need to support others going on maternity leave 🙂

[bctt tweet=”Although going on maternity is a must, I still feel grateful to my team for stepping in” username=”cherralle_”]

Related Post: Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law and What Moms Have To Say

Through this post, I want to share a different perspective of how our work community supports working mothers when we go off to have babies!

Share this  and tag a friend you believe supported you doing maternity!

Featured Image: istock

 

6 Tips for Surviving Morning Sickness At Work

More than 50% pregnant women suffer from morning sickness. But, it is a bit of a hush hush topic at work. Probably because, when they suffer their worst morning sickness (first trimester) women are still keeping their pregnancy under wraps. I have seen women fainting, lying in the bathroom, and they are like “no its just  terrible food poisoning’. Meanwhile….it is terrible morning sickness. During both my pregnancies I had morning sickness. The second one lasting for 5-6 months and I was diagnosed  with hyperemesis gravidarum (a severe form of nausea).

When dealing with morning sickness, you have to work too and keep it together.

Honestly, on many occasions I ran off to the bathroom and just sat on the floor hugging my knees. Waiting for the moment to pass. I guess that is not a helpful tip – right?

Related Post: Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law and What Moms Have To Say

Here are some ‘other’ tips which may help you to deal with morning sickness at work

Be open and honest about needing flexibility

At some point, something has got to give. If you are not able to cope then request the day off or leave early. Your body is growing a human being. An actual person. It is kind of a big deal and take the rest when you need it. During my second pregnancy on a few occasions I had to leave work early, or simply just could not get out of bed and had to take a day or two off. It happens.

Have sufficient fluids at hand

Staying hydrated is very important as you are losing your bodily fluids. Have water and drinks at hand. At one stage, I was so sick, I could not drink water.  Water disgusted me for a whole trimester (pregnancy is strange). I could drink fizzy cold drinks, and I had Fanta and Crème Sodas whole day every day.

Lemon and Ginger

Drinking Lemon and Ginger tea really helped as well as  Ginger Sweets. My dear husband, organised these for me to help me get through the nausea. I kept a stash with me at all times!

Manage your work load

We know you are awesome at what you do, but remember to rest.  During both my pregnancies I needed to rest a lot. I needed to actively manage my work load to get the best out of my days. Again, this was my experience. Some people have wonderful energetic pregnancies. So I hear.

Talk to your doctor

If you find that your nausea is extremely bad where you cannot keep down any fluids for hours on end, give your doctor a call. You may be given anti nausea medication if they deem fit. With my second pregnancy, I needed to go on anti nausea medication (which  I did not even know was a thing !). My nausea was debilitating in that I could not keep any fluids down for a 24 hours period and I had to take medication to help me. The medication helped me a lot to keep fluids down at that time. I read up on hyperemesis gravidium, it is a serious condition that women face, from what I can see I was lucky in that I responded well to the medication.

Sleep and sleep well

Having a baby is like running a marathon, it is extremely tiring. With both my pregnancies, I was completely exhausted. Going to bed as early as possible made a big difference. It helped me to stay rested so that I could manage to get through a work day.

Overall, let your manager and colleagues know as soon you are comfortable so that others can support you.

Do you have any tips for surviving morning sickness at work?

Further Reading:

Pumping Breast Milk at Work: The Law and What Moms Have To Say

5 Practical Steps to Make Returning to Work from Maternity Leave Easier

{Working Mom Hack} Asking For What You Want At Work…The Right Way

{Working Mom Hack} 7 Tips to Get More Time For Yourself and Your Family

 

Featured  Image: istock

 

 

 

Moms, Step and Play with Your Kids| How To Say Yes To More Playtime

Are you a working mom who is kicking ass and taking names at work?

And you are giving your all to make time for your family but you struggle with work life balance?

We all know this is not a perfect balance, but we are all doing our best.

I have just completed reading Shonda Rhimes’ Year of Yes. One of the ideas that resonate with me is that of saying  ‘yes’ to our children‘.

Saying ‘yes’ to our children when they want to play and be with us is easier than we think. Okay not all the time, I am a realist too.

Shonda states that when she plays with her kids, they can only play with her for about 15 minutes before they want to move on.

Do you have 15 minutes? She asks.

[bctt tweet=”Say ‘Yes’ to your children when they ask to play with you, 15 min is doable” username=””]

Related Post: 7 Reasons Why I am Pretty Certain We Are Only Having Two Kids

We are out there being awesome at work.

Are you kicking ass and taking names at work?

Saying ‘yes’ to your mentors, sponsors and to those stretch assignments?

Are you putting up with a horrible boss at work?

Let’s also say ‘yes’ to our children and ourselves.

This is how it plays out mamas, admit it:

  • Mommy, please play with me outside-  Not now angel, I need to do the dishes. Just say ‘yes’.

 

  • There is a moms’ tea at my daughter’s playschool. Should I go? Gosh my diary is a nightmare…. – Just say ‘yes’ to the moms’ tea at least sometimes. We know how we can never make the moms’ tea because its smack bang in the middle of the work. But let’s just say ‘yes’ once.

[bctt tweet=”Just ‘say yes’ to playing with your kids. It will mean the world to them and you.” username=”cherralle_”]

 

 

What are some steps you can take to say ‘Yes’ to yourself and your children?

1. Weekends.

Spend time focusing on yourself and your family on weekends. Always aim to close off what you need to do on a Friday.

Then get on the floor and just play with your children.

2. When you leave work, really leave.

Okay, this is  personal, as each person needs to find their way of working. Some people, leave work earlier and then catch up in the evening after the kids are down.

Only you can hold yourself accountable for the focus you are giving. Reach out to a mentor if you are struggling, see next point. I wrote a post on this topic, Dear Working Mother, Here is How To Leave Work On Time.

3. Have a mentor who is a working mother.

We all need to have multiple mentors. Have at least one working mom that you can learn from in your personal ‘board of directors’. The challenges and guilt that you face as a working mom are unique. You will have someone you can be open with about your unique life.

4. The Sunday.

This use to be my own issue I created for myself. Working on Sundays, to ‘prepare’ for Monday.

I stopped that  as I decided to take back my Sunday evenings to read, watch a movie, spend time with my husband, whatever. That has helped me to say ‘yes’ to myself on a Sunday evening.

[bctt tweet=”I stopped working on Sundays to ‘prepare’ for Mondays because it just made me unhappy on a Sunday night. Take back your Sunday!” username=”cherralle”]

Let’s say yes to being more present

Let’s say ‘yes’ to spending time with our children, being present, they are only this little once.

In my daughters’ eyes (who is three years old) I am a ROCK STAR!! I am her ROCK STAR and I will work on saying ‘yes’ more to her (when she is not driving me nuts).

In which ways can you create more time for play?

Further Reading:

Shonda Rhimes Year of Yes: 5 Key Lessons (and why you need this book in your life)

Do I Still Need To Lean In When I Am Just So Tired?

 

6 Hacks To Transform Your CV in 20 Minutes

So you have not updated your CV in years. This is how you can transform your CV in 20 minutes. By the way update your CV at least every 6 – 12 months, whether you are in the market or not!

Here are 6 things you can do now to transform your CV in 20 minutes

Ensure Education is at the bottom

On the top you must reflect your actual work experience. Remember that recruiters and hiring managers are getting exposed to piles and piles of CVs daily. Ensure your best information is on top. Include education at the bottom so that the first few moments of people reading your CV are spent on the good stuff.

Having a Career objective is not necessary

A career objective is very self focused, and is not addressing the needs of the potential employer at this moment. If you want to show your potential employer how well you match the role, rather use your cover letter – which is a must. Also ensure that your voice comes through as you add your accomplishments (see next point).

Only have 5 – 6 Bullets per job

When listing your experience, limit the bullet points to the key impacts you made in that particular role. Add actual outcomes and accomplishments. Do not copy and paste the job description of your role in your CV. This says nothing about you and your contribution.

Run a spell check

Ensure you do a quick grammar and spell check, it makes a world of difference. Recruiters are reviewing piles of CVs per day and grammar and spelling errors are a huge turn off.

Save as PDF with a proper file name

Saving it as a PDF means that it will remain in a consistent format as you forward it on. If you leave it in word the formatting could be impacted, as people open it up from different screens. Oh, and name your CV correctly (Jon Snow 2017).

References are available on request – remove

This goes without saying and so there is no need to state this in your CV and waste space.

Bonus Tip: Last but not least, update your LinkedIn

Ensure your LinkedIn Profile is on point as potential employers will definitely be visiting your profile. Herewith an overview of how to step up your LinkedIn game.

The above will help you if you are in a bind, however, you do require more than 20 minutes to properly update your CV.  You require focused time to reflect on your impact and accomplishments and to add your voice and personality.

Good luck! Any other quick tips that you think may be useful?

Further related reading:

The Muse: 20 Basic Resume Writing Rules That Will Put You Ahead Of The Competition

How To Get The Feedback You Need To Ace Your Career Goals

Step Up Your LInked In Game – 6 Tips For The Savvy Professional

{Working Mom Hack} Asking For What You Want At Work…The Right Way

Image Credit: pixabay